A few things not worth mentioning...

Thing the First: My oven caught on fire last night. It was kind of a dramatic moment as I had just turned the oven on, and suddenly it made this horrible buzzing sound and then a loud POP, which produced some good size flames. I was able to turn it immediately off, which stopped the flames, but then produced some impressive billows of smoke. So then of course I opened every window in my apartment to air it out, which promptly made my apartment FREEZING (but not smelling like smoke). So now I have no oven, and while it's perhaps safe to use the stove burners, I'm disinclined to do so. Now I'm waiting for my apartment manager to see if it's reparable. But for now I have to eat things cold or things that are microwavable. Bummer, dude.

Thing the Second: I have been having some trippy-ass dreams lately. First, I had a dream that I was a reporter covering the Blagojevich impeachment, and Mr. Pipo was called as a character witness, which horrified me. He came over to talk to me, bringing Mr. Blagojevich, who promptly decided to hit on me, so I ran away. As I was running, it turned in to me doing a marathon, and my iPod wouldn't work. I also have dreams fairly frequently where my teeth are falling out. Then last night I had a dream where I was invisible to everyone but children. Googling the themes of my dreams would lead one to believe I must have serious issues I'm unaware of, including worrying too much about how I look, thinking I'm not important, trying to remove myself from society, and putting my faith in man over God. Whatever that means. Really I think it just provides me entertainment the next morning when I remember them. Except the teeth falling out one. YUCK!

Thing the Third: Why does our mayor have to be scandalous? I mean, I'm feeling good politically, my President was elected, he's officially in office and Bush is puttin' his boots up on a coffee table in Podunk, Texas, and he can't send us to war again. But then the day before Inauguration, Portland's mayor has to go scandalize himself with an inappropriate relationship. I mean come ON. So I have decided to pay as little attention as possible to the whole shebang, even if I am technically a city employee. Whatev! Evidently in Portland, 18-year-olds can enjoy Sam Adams. Ba-dum kshhhh!

"Let's Say Thanks"

Visit www.letssaythanks.com to send a card to our troops overseas.

Remember, it's not their fault our dumb-ass President sent them there.

PEACE IN THE NEW YEAR!

Una Semana Mas

This time next week I will either be A) Celebrating My Brains Out, or B) In Mourning

Let's hope it's A.

I'm getting really nervous and the polls all saying Obama's way in the lead is not helping me. The polls can be wrong! I am going to freak if McCain actually sneaks in there and gets the nomination. Not to mention I will seriously question the validity of the election. In 2004, many polls said Kerry was ahead, but Bush eventually won out. It was close enough that I didn't suspect fraud, but at this point, I just can't believe that "wrinkly old white haired dude" (quoting Paris Hilton there) will win.

I can't do it, people.

Until then, I will wear this button in hope:

Yes, I realize this is a rather boring post. Just felt like putting it out there anyway. ;)

Luck Be An Old Lady

What an old lady I am. I hit the big 2-7 about a week ago. Older...perhaps a bit wiser. More wise-ass at least.

I have this constant stomach twisting that I really hope will melt into pure euphoria next Tuesday. If McCain is elected I swear to Buddha I will freak.the.f*ck.out.


All the way out.


******

In more thrilling news, I'm going to try and be less old lady like and hit up a Halloween party on Friday. Some friends and I are getting a VIP room at a club downtown. I'm not much of a clubber, but the private room makes it more bearable I think. I kind of passed the club-goer stage when I hit 23. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure a cocktail or two will help that along.

I splurged and bought a costume online, which I think is pretty sweet:














That's right, I am Medusa. People look at me, scream, and turn to stone.

Oh, I crack myself up.








What's new with you?

Maverick

Have some time to waste?

Need a good laugh?

Visit http://www.palinaspresident.us/ and click on various things in the room.

"Something-stan"

Joe Six-Pack's Economic Plan

Just a little current info to get you through the day.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would nowbe worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have$49.00 remaining.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago,drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recyclingrefund, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drinkheavily and recycle.....

Jon Stewart

Will you marry me?

Oh You Betcha

MAN Sarah Palin bugs me.

I am glad for the sake of our global reputation that she sounded at least somewhat intelligent during last night's debate. And I'm sure her based looooved it. But the winks, the "darn its","doggone its", and "mavericks" make me want to vomit. Everywhere. Especially in her solidified hair.
























Also? I know people from Alaska, and they don't talk like that. I read an article the other day about "Where Sarah Palin Got Her Accent" and they said it was an Alaskan accent.

Um, no. Wasilla is just north of Anchorage, so unless Wasilla has its own little weird dialect, she's just got some wires crossed somewhere.

*** *** ***

In other news, the two badess menfolk that visited my last post after such a long hiatus both agree that dating stories are good.

So far, I don't have any good ones, except that I lost my mind and tried eHarmony. My friends would not let it go and insisted that I give it a shot, so I paid for it with a Visa gift card I got for graduation. Not particularly impressed. I don't know how they match people up, but I had some really bizarre people. Including at least two men who were SO in denial of their homosexuality while they toted how much they love Jesus.

Wowza.

I am chatting with this one guy, but we haven't been able to meet up yet.

So here's a question I pose to anyone who wanders through here. I have dealbreakers. My three dealbreakers are as follows: Must be voting for Obama, must believe in a Woman's Right to Choose, and must agree that gay marriage should be allowed in this country. Many other issues I can let slide, but these three I can't.

Is that unreasonable? I realize that the pool of eligible bachelors may dwindle because of these dealbreakers, but they're important to me. Say some guy and I really hit it off, fall in love, bla bla bla. I couldn't marry someone who would be threatened by the thought of a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. He would think our union had less value simply because two homosexuals wed.

You know what I'm sayin?

"Developing Story"

Does this seem completely ironic to you?


Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Short & Sweet

I’m on Spring Break! Woo-Hoo!

I’m done with classes and homework until April 2nd, and it’s a beautiful thing. It’s already going by too fast, though. Stupid work…

I’ll still enjoy my break time, no matter how little it is.

Next term I’ll be taking Strategic Planning, Administrative Theory & Behavior, and Administrative Ethics.

Speaking of Administrative Ethics, I think it’s time to send Bushy back to class.

And speaking of Bushy, have you seen this video? It’s beautiful...



And that’s all I have to say about that.

Splendiferous

Man, they’ve been making me work lately. What up with that?

How are you doing today? Anything new?

My weekend was OK—I had class, so that took up a lot of it. BUT, it’s my advocacy class and we’re doing a mock arbitration hearing, and I get to be the arbitrator! So I get to pass judgement and all that fun stuff. That’s not until next month, though.

Actually, after class I met some friends for dinner at Autentica, which has fantastically orgasmic authentic Mexican food. Oh, it was so deliciosa. And even though we were stuffed to the gills we decided that dessert was in order at Pix Patisserie. Yum!

So Saturday I may have been in class, but I made good use of Saturday night.

Last night, instead of doing homework, I did a little shopping (Hello, take-advantage-of-dead-presidents-day sales!). I came away with some great deals! Then we hit one of my all-time favorite restaurants in Portland---The Montage.

Oooh, heavenly. I had my usual favorite, alligator linguini (did she just say alligator? Why yes, I think she did). It is oh so good. It just has the best atmosphere for a restaurant. First of all, it’s in this totally seedy area under the Morrison Bridge. It’s all dark and fantastic inside and it’s a bunch of long tables so you might end up sitting with people you don’t know. It’s great! OK, I just read that again and it doesn’t sound that fantastic, but I promise, it is! And when you have leftovers they put them in a fun tinfoil to-go animal or flower or something. My friend and I both had leftovers, and our person made us a cat and a mouse to go!

OK, all this talk of food has made me hungry!

In other news, I think I forgot to update that that guy in my class that I wanted to introduce to my friend already has a girlfriend, so that’s a no go. But I’ll keep you updated on any new developments.

In even other news, this kid just kills me. I went to high school with him, and he is the most brilliant, fascinating guy I’ve ever met. He’s even nice to boot! In high school he built a freakin Tesla Coil, so I’m not too surprised to see he’s winning $30K prizes for amazing inventions and succeeding like mad at MIT. Nathan Ball, you rock!

Also, I think this is fascinating. And I don't believe for second that it has nothing to do with the fact that Iraq has become a disaster. How long before the crazies go all “Freedom Fries” on the UK? So instead of English Breakfast Tea it’ll be American Breakfast Tea? Or English Muffins are now American Muffins? Can’t wait. Nice job, Blair—it’s about time you stopped being a lapdog.

And you know...it's been a while........ I want these shoes:

Peachy Keen

1. I’m pretty excited that we’ve already got a good pool of presidential candidates. This time last year I was very worried that we didn’t have anybody! Too soon to call who’s going to get the nod, but it should be an interesting race. If those elephants hold on to power, though, someone’s going to have some serious explaining to do.

He’s such a handsome fellow. And I would just like to state for the record that I liked him before he became Mr. Popular.

2. I was lecturing my cat last night about being a stubborn ass. She somehow has worms (gross!!) and she’s being difficult and won’t take her medicine. I keep telling her that if she doesn’t cooperate we’re going to have to go to the VET which she HATES. They’re scared of her, too. She’s even got a note in her file saying she’s a little shit difficult cat and needs several vet assistants present.

She’s such a cute little thing, though.

3. I have terrible taste in movies. I can watch just about anything and find some entertainment value. I feel sorry for those people who only watch movies to get some deeper meaning out of a film—they miss out on good laughs and brainless humor! My friend and I went and saw Because I Said So (chick flick!). We usually go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day but I have class on Wednesday so this was like our V-Day date. She’s mad I’m ditching her so she has already picked out the bottle of wine she will drink herself on Wednesday.

But the movie was pretty cute. And one the guys in it is scorchin! I mean, it’s a “romantic comedy” which of course always has the same plot “boy likes girl, boy dates girl, they break up for some reason, girl wants boy back, boy says no, eventually changes his mind, happily ever after.” But that’s why we watch them, isn’t it?

4. I had a follow-up doctor’s appointment today. Things are still healing well after the surgery, but he can tell that there’s some serious inflammation up there. This means I am very allergic to something, but because they’ve already tested me for everything they can test for, there’s no way to really know what it is out there. This annoys me greatly. So now I’m on a nasal steroid that I have to take twice a day, but it should help with the ridiculous sneezing and such. Eventually I’ll probably be able to get off the spray once I’m away from the allergen – which I really think is my job.

Time to sharpen that resume.


So. How was your weekend?

Is our children learning?

On this fine Friday, I would just like to say, Happy Weekend to all!

I would also like to share this video:



I can’t decide if it’s funny or horrifying.

Or a little of both.

How embarrassing.

Yowza

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows comes out July 21st.

Yikes!

And in a very illustrative example of my prime nerdiness I was immediately disappointed because my friend's wedding is that day so I will not be able to march out and buy it and proceed to read the whole thing over the weekend without leaving my apartment lest the climactic ending of the book be uttered in my presence before I have read it.

*ahem*

ANYWAY, the world is a little less funnier today, and a little less liberal. Molly Ivins has lost her battle with breast cancer.





I met this woman in 2002, and she was a firecracker.

::::::

This video makes me laugh every time I watch it:


You kinda gotta give the guy some credit...at least the sleaze has a sense of humor.

::::::

And I'm going to apply to participate in the National Education for Women's Leadership program in Oregon this summer. It's a six-day extensive program to introduce women to leadership opportunities, so I'm really excited about it. It's not guaranteed that you'll get in, though, so I do have to take that into account. They don't accept everyone, it's pretty competetive. So keep your fingers crossed for me! :)

MUAH!

State of My Union

George Walker is giving his cowboy speech State of the Union Address at the moment. I watched the first part of it, but now I can only listen from afar. I find that my blood pressure rises considerably when I watch him speak. Bastard.

But there was that beautiful moment when, for the first time in U.S. history, the melodious words were spoken at a national address:

"Madam Speaker..."

I will admit publicly that I teared up a little. Hey, I'm probably PMS-ing.

Anyway--

Look at this beautiful bundle of joy:

Yes, it's my bed. Yes, I realize it's weird that I just posted a picture of my bed, but it's NEW!

I bought it this weekend and had my first glorious night in it last night and it was heaven. It was a very adult purchase, I must admit. I decided to forgo a new digital camera or the lambskin rug in favor of this much more luxurious item.

It's fantastic. No buyer's remorse whatsoever.

Jane was pretty ticked when I had to shut her in the bathroom when the guys came to set it up. As I was shutting the door the bed-man looked past me and said "Holy shit! Is all that yours??"

I turned to see what on earth he was talking about--

Oh. It was my outrageous jewelry collection:

"Kyle! You gotta check out this girl's jewelry!"

[No, I'm not kidding]

So Kyle comes in, and the two of them gawk at my stuff while I look in amazement that this is actually happening. They actually start discussing my taste in earrings.

"So...did you want me to leave you two alone?" I asked with only a hint of bitchy--

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

I'm the first to admit that yeah...maybe I have a little too much jewelry. But that's just how I am. A woman has a right to her jewelry.

Ahem.

OK, I'm done now.

I leave you this---my Jane, looking quite tuckered out after the ordeal of having to change beds. Oh! It's so hard to be a cat!

Can I get a HALLELUJAH?!?

This is the best damn day EVER. EVER.

Nananana, Nananana, Hey Hey Hey, GOOD-BYE!



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Governor Ted Kulongoski: RE-ELECTED!!

Oregon Measure 41 : FAILED!!

Oregon Measure 48: FAILED!!

Oregon Library Levy: PASSED!!

Portland Public Schools: PASSED!!

Every damn thing I voted for/against: WENT MY WAY!!

********************************************************

Pass the champagne glasses, baby, it's time to celebrate!

CHEERS!!!