Merry Christmas, Darling

To you and yours, and all who celebrate it, Merry Christmas. For anyone else out there, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Boxing Day, Happy End-of-December.

All will be merry and bright—

I post this each year (which I would link to if Mr. Hijacker didn’t interfere), but it’s my favorite thing ever written in this silly little world. Here I post my favorite parts of the famous editorial.



September 21, 1897:

Dear Editor: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in the sun it's so.'
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
--Virginia O'Hanlon



Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside. But there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest man that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, and romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives, and lives forever.

A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

-- Francis Church

Fiddlesticks

I had a really horrible dream last night. I dreamt that it was the day of my surgery, and I kept accidentally eating stuff, like a piece of toast or a sucker, and then freaking out because I’m not supposed to eat anything after midnight the night before the surgery.

So that was annoying in itself, but then I go in to have the surgery, and the receptionist is like, “Yeah, sorry—we’re not going to be able to do that today. You’ll have to reschedule for sometime in April.”

Needless to say, I was PO’d and started shouting obscenities. I guess I’m a total potty mouth in my dreams. So I ask the lady why we can’t do it and she’s like, “I don’t know, your doctor just didn’t want to.”

So I go hunting around the hospital and find him in a room making balloon animals for a bunch of kids. So I ask him what the deal is, and A) Why we’re not doing the surgery, and B) Why he didn’t call and tell me yesterday. And he says he just didn’t feel like it, so I go off again and say I’m going to find a new doctor. Then he says I can’t, or I’ll have to pay for it all myself.

OK, it may not sound like much, but it was really annoying. I mean, I’m not exactly looking forward to the surgery, but I’m so sick of snot, sinus headaches, coughing, and swollen eyelids in the morning (goddamn ethmoid sinuses) that I am ready to do ANYTHING to make it all go away.

Hrmph.

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In other news, I’m still really really bored at work. So what does Jennifer do when she’s bored? She plays with Microsoft Paint!

I should do this for a living.

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In other other news, I’m looking forward to Christmas—it’s my favorite time of year. I’ve had my radio tuned to the Christmas station since the day after Thanksgiving. I just love it because it’s a time when I get to spend time with my family (which sounds corny, but it’s true). I don’t get to see my grandpa, aunt & uncle, or cousins very often, so it’s always fun to get together on Christmas Eve to have general merriment! :) Not to mention I love watching my little brother and sister on Christmas morning—so much fun!

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I am painfully bored here at work, so here’s a painfully boring survey that I filled out. If you are equally bored, please fill it out for yourself…it will give me something to read!!

1. Hi my name is...Jennifer

2. Never in my life have I...Done drugs

3. The one person who can drive me nuts...One person? Um, there's several.

4. Favorite Teacher?Of all time? That's tough... Byron Steiger (aka Mr. Burns)

5. When I'm nervous...I bite my nails

6. The last time I cried was...Yesterday I laughed so hard that I cried!

7. If I were to get married right now my maid of honor/best man...Crappety crap. Can't they just all be my MOH?

8. My hair is...Getting long!

9. When I was 5...My grandma died

10. Last Christmas...I didn't put any presents on a credit card.

11. I should be...Working...but I have nothing to do.

12. When I look down I see...My keyboard...exciting stuff going on over here.

13. The craziest recent event was...Inexplicably finding a dead rat in my toilet.

14. If I were a character on 'Friends' I'd be...Monica

15. By this time next year...I will be able to breathe freely!

16. My current gripe...That I might be stuck with a famously psychotic professor next term.

17. I have a hard time understanding...Why Oregonians can't drive in the rain. I mean, we're Oregonians! Helllooooo!!

18. There's this girl I know who...Is going to be a fantastic teacher.

19. You know what the weather is going to be by... Remembering where I live. RAIN!

20. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be...Probably my dad.

21. Take my advice...Don't go out walking when zombies are on the loose.

22. My ideal breakfast...French toast...alas I rarely have it.

23. If you visited the place I was born...You would be unimpressed.

24. I plan to visit someone...In Alaska in June!!

25. If you spent the night at my house....I'd have a fabulous air bed for you.

26. I'd stop my wedding if...My fiance cheated.

27. The world could do without...Unnecessary war.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than...Hold a spider.

29. Most recent thing that I have bought?I can't tell you, it's a Christmas present.

30. Most recent thing someone else bought for me...My friend got me a coffee mug in St. Louis.

31. My favorite blonde is...My little bro and sis.

32. My favorite brunette is...Me. I'm fantastic.

33. My favorite bald guy is...Um...Mr. Clean.

34. My middle name is...Lynn

35. This morning I...Begrudgingly woke up.

36. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are...Giraffes. I mean, wouldn't that be funny?

37. Once, at a bar...I dealt with friends' bizarre escapades. Oh wait, that's more than once.

38. Last night I was...Watching "Bones." Booth is hot.

39. There's this girl I know that....Is getting married in July!

40: I don't know...The square root of 784,525,455.568

41. A better name for me would be...Jennifer, Princess of North Portland

42. If I ever go back to school I'll say..I'm in school.

43. my birthday is....October 19th

44. What I really want for Valentine's Day is…Flowers. I haven’t gotten flowers in a long time.
45. I'm wearing...My comfy purple sweater

46. Tomorrow I am...Going to my best friend’s for our annual dinner/gift exchange!

47. The last thing I ate was...A Clementine orange

48. I really want to learn...Everything.

Thank you, thank you...

Jenniper: Time’s Person of the Year.

That has a lovely ring to it, doesn’t it? I would just like to thank the academy for this honor. This will look excellent on my resume.

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It is frosty this morning! Brrrrrrr!! I had to scrape off some major ice on my car this morning. And I have yet to take off my scarf. I tried to, but this horribly frigid ice blast hit my neck and I couldn’t do it.

A couple of my friends had a Christmas party on Saturday, and it was oh-so fun. Good food, good company, just good all around. It was my old coworker and her girlfriend, who just happens to be a chef. So needless to say, the hors d'oeuvres were fabulous. They also set up a primo bar with do-it-yourself mixers and such. It was an excellent idea.

The best part, though, is that every year they pick a charity or an organization and make that the “theme” of the party. Last year they chose the dog shelter where they adopted their pup, and instead of everyone bringing a hostess gift, they bring something for the shelter (like dog food, toys, etc.). This year, they chose p:ear, an organization that helps homeless & transitional youth. One way they do that is through art—so this year, we all brought art supplies for p:ear.

Full of warm fuzzies, no?

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Is it Friday yet? Next week I'm on vacation!!

We're goin to the zoo, zoo, zoo

How about you, you, you?

You can come too, too, too,

We're goin to the zoo, zoo, zoo.

We began our adventure along the corridor of light--all was peaceful in the rain.

We soon came upon what appeared to be a wildlife colony, with a lovely blue stream flowing through it.

Upon closer look, we saw monstrous beasts crawling toward us! His jaws were chomping, but alas he could not reach us.

He soon turned his attention to a lovely elephant and her child. We were afraid the beast would try and attack them, but mom sprayed him with water!

Then the King of the Zoo arrived to save the day, and insisted that the beast control himself...after all, this is a family establishment.

I suspect this brave soul may be a relative of our dear Monkey.

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So that was some windstorm last night, huh?? I haven't had a good one like that in years, so it was lovely. Miraculously, I only lost electricity for about a minute and half. But I had a lovely evening anyway listening to the wind howl.

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And if I saw a deer with seven legs and both reproductive organs, I sure's hell wouldn't eat the damn thing.

Flakey

Boredom has overcome me. This is a major downside to working in an academic library—when the students aren’t in session, they run screaming from the library.

I have nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do. (Yes, you can probably expect mindless drivel like this all week).

But my coworker did email me this website, and I have been making e-snowflakes all afternoon. I also tried to make an “offensive snowflake” seeing as the website specifically says to keep them clean (What? I said I was bored). But even if you make them offensive as you cut, they don’t really turn out offensive—it’s just another design. But I challenge you to make a naughty one!



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OK, now let me preface this by saying, yes, I know I am being completely ridiculous and yes, I’m happy with my grades, I know they are excellent.

BUT the stupid plus/minus system screwed over my 4.0! Two damn A-’s and one A and I end up with a 3.78. This is annoying to me. An A is an A dammit! And why is there no such thing as an A+? My A would have been an A+ if they existed and then I wouldn’t be quite as annoyed.

Bah. Humbug.

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Also, I feel really bad for these guys, but seriously…what were they thinking?

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My friends and I went to the Zoo Lights last night (in the pouring rain I might add). I’ll try to add some pics of the adventure tonight! Some turned out not half-bad.





PS: I want this shirt.

There's the sugar!

OK, Beta seems to be behaving a little better. Maybe it was just the switch that made people anonymous, but those who were previously anonymous are no longer.

Happy Dance!



I have to admit, I had a fun time adding “Labels” to my posts (which didn’t take very long thanks to Mr. Hijacker). I had an even more fun time looking at what a write about the most.

At the moment I have 24 different labels—which seems like a lot, but hey, I talk a lot.

You’ll be surprised to know that post-hijacking, I’ve only talked about Shoes 3 times. That’s it! I’ve talked about Recycling Guy 4 times, so he trumps shoes.

I talk about Portland and Oregon a lot (10 total). Then I made a label entitled “Only Me” which refers to bizarre crap that happens to me (rats-in-toilets, parking tickets, etc.). Only Me appears 8 times.

The number one topic post-hijacking? Sinus Fiasco.

This makes me very sad. Sinus Fiasco owns 12 posts. *sigh*

So goal for 2007 (which, ladies and gentlemen, is only 19 days away) is to be able to stop talking about my Sinus Fiasco. Obviously, the month of January will still have some tidbits, but after that, no more sickness please! I had enough in ’06 to last me through the aughts. No more bronchitis/sinus infections/root canals/pink eye/flu/food poisoning/whatever. Done. Finito. Bring on the Vitamins!


In other news, I am finding it very difficult to resist buying all of the DVDs and CDs that just have to come out right before Christmas that I really want but cannot afford. Namely, The Devil Wears Prada, Little Miss Sunshine (Dec.19), Taylor Hicks’ Album, Pirates of the Caribbean, and I know there was something else, but I don’t remember what it was. Evil, evil I tell you! But I would guess that Santa is probably going to bring me some gift cards for Christmas, so I’ll put them to good use. ;)

In other other news, I just finished reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter, and it was excellent. Highly recommend.

@#$^& Blogger

OK, against my better judgement, I decided to move over to the new Beta Blogger. Every time I log in or try to post they shove in my face that I SHOULD MOVE TO NEW BETA BECAUSE I HAVE TO EVENTUALLY ANYWAY---AND RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Already I dislike it because suddenly Madge, Cristina, and Adam are all "anonymous" commenters on my previous post.

And Tristan's self-made link button is gone again.

And everyone's cute little icons are gone (and YES I made sure the setting was correct).

What up with that??

Is there any new business?

1. Good riddance to a violent dictator responsible for thousands of deaths and disappearances.



2. Two weeks left until Christmas. Yikes!

3. For my computer geek friends (you know who you are)--I need a suggestion for a FREE, RELIABLE internet browswer. I've had it with Internet Explorer at home. I downloaded the latest version and it's totally retarded. So can you recommend a browser that is easy to download and is SIMPLE to operate? Remember you're dealing with a simple-minded internet gal.



4. Macy's downtown store (formerly Meier and Frank) is closing for a year for renovations, which means all of the employees are being redistrubuted or given severence. My sister, of course, is a manager downtown, so she was vying for a management position at the HUGE Macy's at Southcenter Mall near Seattle. Well, she got it! So now she's moving up there, and starts the day after Christmas. Crazy, huh? So now I'll have to help her move (I hate moving, even if it's not me).

5. The Holiday is such a totally cute girly girly chick flick. Adorable. Ladies, go see it.

Is that mistletoe I see?

Just one more reason not to eat fast food, people.

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I am officially one term into my master’s program. Last night was my last night of class until January. And I would just like to throw myself a Badass Party because I plowed through it with almost no complaining (other than annoying group members), even though I have been working full time and dealing with my never-ending nasal ailment.

*applause*



“Thank you, thank you.”

I know I’m getting at least one A, and I’m pretty sure (fingers crossed) that I’ll have an A in my financial management class, but it depends on the final group paper & presentation we did last night. My weekend class that I could not stand—I have no idea. The whole grade is based on one paper which I turned in last week, so I have zero idea what kind of grade I’ll get in there. But as long as it’s passing, I don’t care! :)

So next term I am taking Human Resource Management in the Public Sector, Administrative Theory (I heart theory), and Advocacy Roles in Public Management. So it should be a good second term. But not until January, baby!

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I have a dilemma. A job opportunity crossed my path yesterday, and it’s pretty much a job I would kill for. It’s working on the staff of one of the Multnomah County Commissioners(!!!). But the timing is horrible, because the job would start in January, which is a bad month because not only am I having surgery but I’ll be starting my new term. I just don’t know what to do! I mean, the likelihood that I would actually get the job is pretty low, anyway, but it’s such an opportunity! It would almost give me an “in” for campaign management or running for public office. But the timing! Oh, woe is me. Condundrum!


Edit 12/7 3:15pm: I noticed in the job announcement that one of the application requirements is a copy of a press release I have written. Obviously, I have never written a press release (which I have no doubt I could do well). I called the woman in charge of hiring for the position, who was very nice, and said that it is a firm requirement, so I can't be considered without it. So there goes that. But she told me to keep an eye out for additional openings in a couple of months. He's a new commissioner, so he'll probably hire more staff as the year goes. I'll keep you posted. ;) But thanks for your positive remarks!!



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But I leave you with this—a hilarious cartoon from Baby Blues that had me laughing for at least five minutes:

Well, shoot.

I knew it was unlikely, but I was still hoping for the best.

Mother Nature may seem ruthless, but she doesn't know you're there.

Happiness and Cheer

So, a couple weeks ago I announced the date for my surgery. Well, Amy, the schedule lady, told me she’d call the following week to schedule my pre-op appointment.

Amy never called.

So this morning I went online to check the time of an appointment I have tomorrow, and lo and behold, there is suddenly a pre-op appointment set for me on the 29th.

Yes, that works for me, yes, I knew I would need a pre-op about a week before the surgery, but how is it that they made an appointment without calling me? And if I hadn’t just happened to look on the website, would I have ever known? I mean come on. And then I called them today, left a message, and have not heard a peep back.

Do I really want these people rooting around my head?

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

On a much much lighter note, Portland is such a lovely city during Christmastime. I keep meaning to bring my camera along on my excursions to get real-life pictures, but of course I keep forgetting. That will be my mission for the next week.

This is my must-do Christmas list for my city—

Peacock Lane



Where else can you see an entire street of homes you can’t afford lit to the nines with Christmas lights? I used to go as a child with my grandmother, and then my family after she died, so naturally, the tradition lives on. Park at the Walgreens, go buy some snacks (be sure to get cash back to give a “donation” to the guy handing out hot chocolate), and wander down the street. If you can afford to do the horse & carriage ride, go for it, but no driving. That’s cheating.

Portland International Raceway



Yes, it’s overpriced, yes, it’s silly. But they’re just so pretty. And what other time can you drive 10mph on a race track?

Oregon Zoo Lights



Monkeys swinging from tree to tree, hippos squirting out water as you ride on the train. Dozens of school choirs singing carols. It’s the only way to see the zoo.

The Pittock Mansion



Antique toys strewn about a lovely decorated 23-room mansion. Fantastic panoramic views of my city. Need I say more?

The Christmas Ship Parade



Grab some hot chocolate, put on your layers, and welcome me on my bridge as we watch dozens of ships float by, beautifully decorated and lit up for the holidays! What other city would have something so fabulous?

Pioneer Courthouse Square



Stand in the square, marvel at the lovely Christmas Tree (which they have made PC and now call the “Holiday Tree” but whatev). From there, wander down Broadway to see the rest of the lights around town.

Festival of Lights at the Grotto



No, I’m not Catholic, but there’s something so peaceful about the Grotto at Christmastime. It’s something my grandmother loved almost as much as Peacock Lane.

The Nutcracker



Yes, perhaps the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies will get stuck in your head for days, but it’s not-to-be-missed. If for no other reason than to see all the cute little ballerinas dancing about!



The Meier and Frank store windows used to be on my list, but alas…Macy’s has taken over and replaced the 12 Days of Christmas windows. They’re cute and all with the Santas in the windows, but it’s just not the same, you know?