Thursday, July 26, 2007

A Plea

To all the would-be car-breaker-inners in the Portland Metropolitan Area--

Please leave my goddamn car alone. There is NOTHING in there, and it really irritates me to wake up and find my car in disarray because you've thrown my CDs around.

STOP IT.

This is the third time, so I think we're done now.

LEAVE MY CAR ALONE.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Madge said it well:

"Ohmygodyoucrazyharrypottertypes!"

I finished The Deathly Hallows Yesterday.

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN AND READ THE REST OF THIS POST IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE BOOK!!!

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I was right. And yet so wonderfully wrong at the same time.

But I'll tell you my heart skipped a few beats.

As I finished the final page, I was nothing but content.

It was bittersweet, but in the end, Harry's story was finished the right way.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

It's a small world after all...

I just read this story and laughed out loud.

That's the bachelor from Saturday night's party!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Boogie down

Funniest pick-up line I’ve heard in a while:

“How much does a polar bear weigh?”
“Um….I dunno. How much?”
“Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m ­­­­­­­___________."

::::::

My friends’ big day is this Saturday. Seems like only yesterday I was plotting a hookup. It’s amazing how fast they grow.

We had the wild bachelorette party this weekend, and a good time was had by all. Also, why is “bachelorette” considered a misspelled word in Microsoft programs but “bachelor” is not? Damn sexists.


Anyway, we hit up the Olive Garden for dinner to get started on the night. Each of us had on our own “pub crawl” shirts with different sayings. Mine was “save the drama for your mama.” The bride had “Buy me a shot—I’m tying the knot!” We were quite the group.

After dinner we headed to Duke’s, which was…well…an experience. I was a little concerned upon arrival because there were guys in Stetsons and Wranglers everywhere. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Junniper was dragged to a country bar. There was even a mechanical bull. No, I did not ride it.


I will admit that we had a blast. We had little “bachelorette dare cards” with challenges on them. I am proud to say I completed my task first: get a guy to show you a hidden tattoo. *wink wink*

My next task was to get a guy to contribute $10 toward the cost of the bachelorette party, but I had no such luck.

We did somehow end up getting together with a bachelor party of about 15 guys. They had rented a van and put magnetic signs on it declaring “CHURCH OF LOWER STANDARDS” and such. It was damn funny. We ended up leaving Duke’s at about 1am and headed over to this other bar called 9Ball. It was a karaoke bar, but since it was close to closing time, we didn’t get a chance to get up and sing.

Just before closing at 2am, two of the guys in the bachelor party decided to get into with some other random guy and they started brawling right in the middle of the bar! Needless to say, I was like “bing! We’re outta here!”

Unfortunately, the Church of Lower Standards van was blocking my exit so I had to yell at the guys to move the damn thing because the brawl had taken itself to the parking lot, and they were full-on fighting. I had zero desire to be there when the police showed up, so I made them move the van and we boogied outta there.

It was an adventure.

Now it’s time to go marry her off!

Friday, July 13, 2007

"Dumbledore's got style."

I’m going to do a short little review of the film version of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If you haven’t seen it, or don’t care to read my thoughts, go no further!


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OK. So I went and saw the movie last night. And I did love it, but I had some minor qualms.

First of all, I do want to say I think this director did very well overall—the opening scene was fantastic and really demonstrated the sweltering sadness. The lighting was perfect—the scene where Harry & “Big D” are running through the grass was great. And who know Dudley could run so fast? ;)

BUT. It felt rushed. I know it’s impossible to fit that phenomenal book into a movie without losing some of the fabulousness, but there was just so much important stuff missing! The incident with Mr. Weasley wasn’t explained very well. The Occlumency exercises felt boring, and the scene with the younger Snape was rushed and not explained, either!

But most importantly, the ending seemed pretty anticlimactic. I mean, HELLO, Sirius dies, and it was just like “eh, it happened.” It moved on so suddenly that it wasn’t even sad. And in the book it was SAD! I think I cried. And if I remember right, in the book Bellatrix makes him sort of fall into the archway, whereas in the movie she actually does the Avada Kadavra spell. What up with that?

I will say this, however. Imelda Staunton was fantastic as Umbridge. Absolutely perfect. There were several times I just wanted to reach into the screen and stab her in the forehead with Harry’s wand. And the girl playing Luna Lovegood was great, too—she definitely got the character down.

And the scene where they’re flying on broomsticks through London: magic.

Grade: B
Thoughts?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I can't dance...

Wade Robson is a choreographer, and he often creates dances for the summer show I watch: So You Think You Can Dance.

The man is ridiculous. His visions are amazing, and his use of costume, character, and music is always spot-on. I can’t dance to save my life, but I can appreciate art when I see it.

Hopefully these videos will stay up for a while—these sites like to knock them off since it’s sort of a copyright restriction.








Top 10 - Zombie Ramalama Bang Bang Dance

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Sexy Back-So you think you can dance

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Tell me something...




Am I mad or is it kind of funny?

I can’t decide.

I made a discovery on Friday—somehow, my employer has been shorting my vacation time for the last three years.

I’m supposed to get two weeks’ paid vacation every year—or a total of 80 hours. I took a closer look at my pay stub on Friday and thought…hmm…I’m only accruing one hour per week of work…that means I’m only accruing about 52 hours per year.

Well that’s strange.

So I emailed payroll and sho ‘nough, for the last three years, I’ve only been earning 48 hours of vacation per year, instead of 80.

So now I’m getting back 93 hours (which is almost 12 days!!). I can’t decide if that’s really awesome, or if I’m just really pissed about it.

I mean, while it’s nice that I can now take some more time off, I really could have used that time before—like I dunno, so I could stay longer in Alaska?! Or maybe when I was out for a week from my surgery and didn’t have enough sick time to cover it all?

And how did they even screw up that bad?! Thank god I figured it out, that's all I can say.

Human Resources in this place is a joke. I’d do a better job than them.

Monday, July 09, 2007

The answer comes in two weeks' time.

I’m going to expose some of my dorkiness in this post. It’s about the final Harry Potter installment: The Deathly Hallows.

I’m kind of stressed out about it. I’m worried about what’s going to happen in this book (let’s say it right now, I have a funny feeling I’m going to be really pissed off), and more importantly, I’m worried that I’ll find out what’s going to happen before I get to read it myself.

For that reason, I’m staying away from all news stories about the book and JK Rowling, and the “will Harry die?” theories and yada yada yada.

But that still couldn’t keep my imagination from wondering if it’s going to happen. And I’m wondering if this is how—read no further if you don’t want to hear it.


I am wondering if perhaps Harry is somehow the final Horcrux. When Voldemort tried to kill Harry, Dumbledore said himself that some of his powers were transferred to Harry that night. I’m thinking that the final showdown will be Harry killing Voldemort or Voldemort killing Harry and in doing so one will destroy the other.

And I’ll be mad. I’ll be livid. And the series that I’ve loved so dearly will become bitter to me every time I watch one of the movies or re-read one of the books because I know, in the end that Harry will die.


Hopefully I’m wrong. JK, don’t let me down.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Yawn

I think my neighbors’ decision to stay up until 2am setting off fireworks (what, does NO ONE ELSE have to work today?!) has decreased my ability to think and see clearly.

A headline on CNN that says “Virginia Fireworks Mishap” looked like

VAGINA FIREWORKS MISHAP

And all I could think was *ouch*.

Although it does kind of remind me of this guy:

Monday, July 02, 2007

D'oh!




Be sure to visit this website and vote for


SPRINGFIELD, OREGON


to host the premier of The Simpsons!

It's only right---Matt Groening is FROM Oregon, not to mention the numerous references to Oregon in the show...like Ned Flanders.




Straight outta Flanders street, people! :)