Would Suck

So the great shut down of Analog TV signals for the switch to digital has been postponed to June. The argument at hand is that not everyone is ready for the digital switch. Others argue that no one really uses "rabbit ears" anymore, anyway, so why hold off?

Well, I have mixed feelings about it. I don't have cable--for many reasons, one of which is that I'm cheap, and the other is that I really don't see the need to have so many damn channels. I get about 12 over the airways, and that's plenty. I go over to friends' houses and they have like 100 channels, about 60 of which are crap. So what's the point?

A little over a year ago, my bad-ass console TV died. I had to give in and buy a new TV, so I figured I'd go digital, so I bought this even more bad-ass 32" LCD HDTV, and started getting the digital channels along with analog. The picture for the digital channels is definitely more crystal clear, but I lose the signal much more often than I did with regular 'ol analog. I live next to a bridge, and whenever a big truck goes over it, the signal goes out (no, I'm not kidding).

So the claims that the pictures are clearer with digital is true, but the signal sucks. I think it's just the man trying to get us down and give in and buy cable. I will not give in! I will not go quietly into the night!

Damn the man, save the empire!

On a side note, I am really loving this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bap-oZI-Grc

(I'd embed it, but it's disabled.)

A few things not worth mentioning...

Thing the First: My oven caught on fire last night. It was kind of a dramatic moment as I had just turned the oven on, and suddenly it made this horrible buzzing sound and then a loud POP, which produced some good size flames. I was able to turn it immediately off, which stopped the flames, but then produced some impressive billows of smoke. So then of course I opened every window in my apartment to air it out, which promptly made my apartment FREEZING (but not smelling like smoke). So now I have no oven, and while it's perhaps safe to use the stove burners, I'm disinclined to do so. Now I'm waiting for my apartment manager to see if it's reparable. But for now I have to eat things cold or things that are microwavable. Bummer, dude.

Thing the Second: I have been having some trippy-ass dreams lately. First, I had a dream that I was a reporter covering the Blagojevich impeachment, and Mr. Pipo was called as a character witness, which horrified me. He came over to talk to me, bringing Mr. Blagojevich, who promptly decided to hit on me, so I ran away. As I was running, it turned in to me doing a marathon, and my iPod wouldn't work. I also have dreams fairly frequently where my teeth are falling out. Then last night I had a dream where I was invisible to everyone but children. Googling the themes of my dreams would lead one to believe I must have serious issues I'm unaware of, including worrying too much about how I look, thinking I'm not important, trying to remove myself from society, and putting my faith in man over God. Whatever that means. Really I think it just provides me entertainment the next morning when I remember them. Except the teeth falling out one. YUCK!

Thing the Third: Why does our mayor have to be scandalous? I mean, I'm feeling good politically, my President was elected, he's officially in office and Bush is puttin' his boots up on a coffee table in Podunk, Texas, and he can't send us to war again. But then the day before Inauguration, Portland's mayor has to go scandalize himself with an inappropriate relationship. I mean come ON. So I have decided to pay as little attention as possible to the whole shebang, even if I am technically a city employee. Whatev! Evidently in Portland, 18-year-olds can enjoy Sam Adams. Ba-dum kshhhh!

2009 is upon us

So I've been reading this gal's blog for a few years now, and her latest entry included one of those annoying-yet-hard-to-resist-online-survey things. Since I am home with an overly irritating cold, I figured why not? You also looking for something to do? Join in the madness!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Graduated with a Master's Degree

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Not really a resolutions kind of girl...I'll make one right now for 2009, though: get prints of my zillions of digital photos I've taken and get them into photo albums/scrapbooks.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but two of my best friends (I actually introduced them!) will be having their first child in May!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? Does Indiana count? I kind of feel like it should.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Hmm...maybe a date with a man that is not more boring than a grain of sand.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 16 - day of my graduation

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving and finishing grad school

9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to get my damn tub drain fixed so it actually drains water properly. Though I guess I have a couple of days left to turn this one around!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Well I have a horrible cold right now, does that count?

11. What was the best thing you bought? Probably my TV, which seems silly, but I had this bad-ass console TV from the 70's that finally died. I was sad about it until I brought my 32" LCD HDTV home and realized what a real TV screen is all about.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The 44th President of the United States had some darn good behavior.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Well, the 43rd is always on my shit-list, but I'm adding John McCain to that list. I don't know who that dude running on the Republican ticket was, but it was not John McCain.

14. Where did most of your money go? I would like to know that, too. Groceries, probably. I shop with a basket, not a cart, and I swear groceries are at least 40 bucks every time! How can 40 bucks worth of stuff fit into one basket?!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A presidential election that finally went my way.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Probably the "Umbrella" song by Rihanna. Man that gets stuck in the head, doesn't it?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? 'Bout the same
c) richer or poorer? I guess richer since I got a raise but still feel poor.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Traveling

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Can't think of anything.

20. How did you spend Christmas? It was kind of crazy because of the snow and my dad had to drive up to Portland to get us. So it was kind of a hectic Christmas season, but always fun and full of family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Nope. Maybe next year.

22. What was your favorite TV program? House, MD

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope

24. What was the best book you read? I will somewhat shamefully admit I read the Twilight series books (you know, teenage vampires?) and I really liked them. It's not anything particularly profound or educational, but I really liked the story.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't know. I really like how iTunes has a free weekly download or two, and Starbucks also hands out free downloads. I discover lots of music that way that I might not have listened to before.

26. What did you want and get? A new TV

27. What did you want and not get? A new couch

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmm. I don't know. I don't think I went to many movies. A friend lent me Fight Club, which I had never seen before and it blew my mind, so we'll say that.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 27 this year, and the night before my birthday my friends and I indulged at Urban Fondue and went to a comedy club, and then on my actual birthday day, some friends and I did a 5K "Run Like Hell" walk.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More peace, less war.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I do my own thang

32. What kept you sane? My friends and family...sometimes.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Barack Obama

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Gay civil rights. The whole issue makes my ass twitch and I'll never understand why people are so freaked out by gay people.

35. Who did you miss? Bridezilla--my best friend living in the midwest married to a jackass.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I really like this coworker of mine. He's funny, he's politically savvy, clever, and well...he's good lookin'.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Don't let your apartment manager try to unclog drains.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Whip it. Whip it good.

Merry Christmas

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O'HANLON.


VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Inspired By A/B

So over on A/B's blog, he likes to do a rundown of favorite/hot/smokin'/sexy girls. See his latest post here.

This has inspired me to do a little male objectifying of my own.

So I present to you Junniper's list of Top 10 Men

10. Ty Pennington

Ty and I actually broke up because he got a DUI last year, but he's still pretty to look at. Find him on ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Heartwarming with just the right amount of cheese.

9. Johnny Depp

Mmm, Johnny Depp. He's weird and quite bohemian, but also? Yum. See him in Pirates of the Caribbean, or my personal favorite, Edward Scissorhands.

8. Gabriel Macht

You're probably thinking "who?" And you know, he's not that great of an actor. But he's got the boyish-good-looks thing down pat. He was in American Outlaws and Because I Said So (both C movies).

7. David Beckham

Ah, David Beckham. You're married to a fembot, but I love you anyway. You all should be glad I refrained from posting his Calvin Klein ads if you know what I'm sayin'.

6. Relay Boys

Was that an awesome moment or what? Yeah, some of them are kinda funny looking, but also? RIPPED.

5. Shia LaBeouf

This guy's also sort of funny looking, but it works for him. I think he's cute, even if he has some questionable decision-making issues. And look at that, I threw in Megan Fox for you menfolk.

4. Gael Garcia Bernal

Oh, Gael. I think you should be my boyfriend so you can help me practice my espanol. You're so cute in Motorcycle Diaries, and who could forget that hilarious pool scene in Y Tu Mama Tambien? I'll be your Selmita.

3. Omar Epps

Omar, how do I love thee? Great in Love and Basketball, even better in House. I was so worried at the end of Season 3 that I would be able to stare at him on Tuesday nights anymore, so I'm glad he's still a House regular.

2. Hugh Laurie

Speaking of House, Hugh Laurie just barely edges out Omar Epps. But they're mighty close. Hugh Laurie is great for multiple reasons, only one of which is his brilliance on House. Anybody watch it last night? His "curvy and muscular...my penis is so confused" comment had me crying from laughter. Also loved his bit part in Sense and Sensibility.

1. Barack Obama

Mr. President, you are THE MAN.

"Let's Say Thanks"

Visit www.letssaythanks.com to send a card to our troops overseas.

Remember, it's not their fault our dumb-ass President sent them there.

PEACE IN THE NEW YEAR!

Say What?

I was on the bus on my way to work the other day when this quite good-looking man sat next to me. I was watching a Frontline episode on my iPod, which struck up conversation. He was probably 30 or so, dark hair, green eyes. In a suit. S-E-X-Y. We flirt for a while, joke about politics.

In the back of my mind I'm thinking, thank God, it's about time I meet a normal guy. Someone's throwing me a bone, here, huh? I mean, he's full-on flirting. There are at least two women burning holes in me for getting the luck of the draw on the bus today.

We have a moment of silence, he looks at me, and I can tell he's about to ask me out. I'm somewhere between being pretty flattered and hyperventilating. This must be the great payback for that date I went on last month with that SINFULLY boring dude who just wanted to talk about his iPhone, and convince me to switch to a Mac. The dating gods are fluttering around me right now, aren't they? This is my award for busting my date-less ass over the last couple years in grad school.

Bus Man, we're going places.

He asks "so...are you usually on this bus?"

"Sometimes. I've been kind of bad about driving to work lately."

"Yeah, I'll bet you're bad."

....

"What?"

"I bet you're bad."

"Are you being serious right now?"

"I bet you're dirty, too."

At this point, I start laughing. I sigh, realize I should have known better, and ask him to move his crazy ass to another seat.

He shrugs, gets up, and walks over to one of the women who has been staring at him since he got on the bus.

I hear him say, "are you usually on this bus?"

<><><><><><><><><>

I haven't seen Bus Man since, and part of me is hoping he's in some Psychology class doing an experiment about how quickly he can get rejected on a city bus.

Dating gods, you owe me.

Sam Cooke

It's been a long, long time coming. But I know: change is gonna come.

Mr. President, don't let me down.

Ack!

Holy shit holy shit holy shit.

It's Election Day.

Dear Lord, please let me be in a good mood tomorrow (if ya know what I'm sayin')

Una Semana Mas

This time next week I will either be A) Celebrating My Brains Out, or B) In Mourning

Let's hope it's A.

I'm getting really nervous and the polls all saying Obama's way in the lead is not helping me. The polls can be wrong! I am going to freak if McCain actually sneaks in there and gets the nomination. Not to mention I will seriously question the validity of the election. In 2004, many polls said Kerry was ahead, but Bush eventually won out. It was close enough that I didn't suspect fraud, but at this point, I just can't believe that "wrinkly old white haired dude" (quoting Paris Hilton there) will win.

I can't do it, people.

Until then, I will wear this button in hope:

Yes, I realize this is a rather boring post. Just felt like putting it out there anyway. ;)

Luck Be An Old Lady

What an old lady I am. I hit the big 2-7 about a week ago. Older...perhaps a bit wiser. More wise-ass at least.

I have this constant stomach twisting that I really hope will melt into pure euphoria next Tuesday. If McCain is elected I swear to Buddha I will freak.the.f*ck.out.


All the way out.


******

In more thrilling news, I'm going to try and be less old lady like and hit up a Halloween party on Friday. Some friends and I are getting a VIP room at a club downtown. I'm not much of a clubber, but the private room makes it more bearable I think. I kind of passed the club-goer stage when I hit 23. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure a cocktail or two will help that along.

I splurged and bought a costume online, which I think is pretty sweet:














That's right, I am Medusa. People look at me, scream, and turn to stone.

Oh, I crack myself up.








What's new with you?

Maverick

Have some time to waste?

Need a good laugh?

Visit http://www.palinaspresident.us/ and click on various things in the room.

"Something-stan"

Joe Six-Pack's Economic Plan

Just a little current info to get you through the day.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would nowbe worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have$49.00 remaining.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago,drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recyclingrefund, you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drinkheavily and recycle.....

Jon Stewart

Will you marry me?

Need Some Entertainment?

Movies these days are damn expensive. To make plans for dinner and a movie you gotta figure $20 for dinner (at least), $10 just to get in the movie, and if you want a drink? Forgetaboutit. Last time I went to a Regal Cinemas, I think a bottled water was like 4 bucks. I mean come ON.

Which is why I love this little theater by my house. They play first-run movies, and if you go before 5:30, it's only $4. Even if you go to the late show, it's only $6. PLUS, they serve pizza, beer, assorted candy and popcorn goodness, as well as other refreshing beverages. Where else can you go see a new movie, get a snack and a drink, and pay only 10 bucks?

Plus it's in an old historic building that's just very charming.

My friend and I went and saw Eagle Eye there on Saturday, and I thought it was pretty good. Keep in mind I am easily entertained in the movie world, but I thought it was a good action/thriller sort of combo. Plus Shia LeBeouf is adorable. Though I wasn't a big fan of the facial hair thing.



How about you? Seen any good movies lately?

Oh You Betcha

MAN Sarah Palin bugs me.

I am glad for the sake of our global reputation that she sounded at least somewhat intelligent during last night's debate. And I'm sure her based looooved it. But the winks, the "darn its","doggone its", and "mavericks" make me want to vomit. Everywhere. Especially in her solidified hair.
























Also? I know people from Alaska, and they don't talk like that. I read an article the other day about "Where Sarah Palin Got Her Accent" and they said it was an Alaskan accent.

Um, no. Wasilla is just north of Anchorage, so unless Wasilla has its own little weird dialect, she's just got some wires crossed somewhere.

*** *** ***

In other news, the two badess menfolk that visited my last post after such a long hiatus both agree that dating stories are good.

So far, I don't have any good ones, except that I lost my mind and tried eHarmony. My friends would not let it go and insisted that I give it a shot, so I paid for it with a Visa gift card I got for graduation. Not particularly impressed. I don't know how they match people up, but I had some really bizarre people. Including at least two men who were SO in denial of their homosexuality while they toted how much they love Jesus.

Wowza.

I am chatting with this one guy, but we haven't been able to meet up yet.

So here's a question I pose to anyone who wanders through here. I have dealbreakers. My three dealbreakers are as follows: Must be voting for Obama, must believe in a Woman's Right to Choose, and must agree that gay marriage should be allowed in this country. Many other issues I can let slide, but these three I can't.

Is that unreasonable? I realize that the pool of eligible bachelors may dwindle because of these dealbreakers, but they're important to me. Say some guy and I really hit it off, fall in love, bla bla bla. I couldn't marry someone who would be threatened by the thought of a man marrying a man or a woman marrying a woman. He would think our union had less value simply because two homosexuals wed.

You know what I'm sayin?

A/B Said it Best

I am a big tease.

I had these grand plans of posting an update and then that went the hell out the window, didn't it?

Sigh.

So how did I get here. That is the question. Where the hell have I been? What have I been doing? Have I lost my mind?

Actually, I just got my mind back. I am DONE with school. DONE, people. Graduated. Cap. Gown. Master's Hood. The whole shebang. Now if only the university weren't so slow and would get my diploma printed already, I'd be a happy camper. It doesn't really feel real until you have that multi-thousand-dollar piece of paper, you know?

In other news, still loving the job. Yes, the one that caused me to pretty much abandon all blogging. But you know, today I have decided to break the rules, and post at work. Gasp! BAD public employee, BAD! But OSHA says I should take a 15 minute break for every 4 hours of work, right? See, I'm just following the rules.

So what's new out there in Blog Land? I have noticed that I'm not the only culprit who has slowed on the blogging front, so that makes me a little less lame, right? No? OK, fine.

I haven't blogged in eons, and I can't think of anything to say. My little sister started middle school this year which makes me feel like an OLD WOMAN. Not to mention the fact that I will be 27 next month. Yowza. That's damn close to 30, isn't it? I decided to make an attempt at breaking back into the dating world, so if you know any fabulous men in Portland, hook a girl up, would you? (Must be voting for Obama, must kill spiders for me, must like stupid movies...I don't ask for much).

I went on vacation in July to visit Bridezilla in Indiana. That was an experience. Had never been to the midwest before. I said "bitch" in front of this 40-something lady, and I thought she was going to have a heart attack. But I did get to visit 3 states I'd never been to: Indiana, Ohio, and Illinois. My friend and I drove up to Chicago, which I looooved. Apparently, I really am a city mouse.

For graduation, my dad and I are going to DC--another place I've never been. Hopefully there will be a significant regime change when I visit in the Spring.

35 days until the election, people. Here's hoping.

I would say something like, "I'll try to post more often," but we all know I'm a dirty liar.

And A/B, now you get your own label:

Coming soon...

An update.

Is anyone even still reading? Haha!

I know, I'm a loser.

OK, I had every intention of actually posting in December after I had previously told myself I would post in November. Now, neither of those happened because I'm a dork. But at least I know it!

I'm sorry, I just don't like to blog from work (I'm allowing it for this time), and then I get home and I have other stuff to do so blogging's just not really on my radar. But I do try to visit your blogs so I know what's going on in the world, even if I don't comment.

Life has been flying on by, as usual. I have since decided that my blog's name is a cruel, cruel lie because my life is anything but capricious lately. I've got so much going on that it is rather predictable and too busy. But this should all change by August, when I plan to graduate with my master's. It's been a busy road, but I'm hoping it'll slooooow down after that.

So I love my job. LOVE my job. Yes, I'm a peon in this organization, but I won't be that way for long. I'm happy to say I've already made a name for myself by taking over marketing and outreach projects and even creating a blog for our department (no, I'm not giving the URL so don't ask.) :)

Holidays were good, life is good, for the moment even the weather is good (albeit a bit cold).

How are you my dear friend? I'll try to do better from now on.

Mea Culpa

OK, so who knows if anyone is still going to check my page since I’ve been so neglectful lately, but

HI!

How are you? What’s new in your world?

Even though I haven’t posted in eons, I do still check your blogs fairly regularly—so I’m at least connected a bit. The problem is that I used to always blog from work, and I can’t do that with the new job. C’est la vie.

Speaking of French (a language I do not speak), I went and saw Carmen this weekend. I love the opera. There’s just something so fantastic about it. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that there are these phenomenal people singing like crazy for hours at a time while a flawless orchestra plays along. It’s amazing. If you’ve never been to an opera, give it a chance, at least once.

They say the first time you see an opera, you either love it or you hate it. I, obviously, am one who loves it. Carmen was actually the first opera I’ve ever seen, so when I saw that it was coming back to Portland Opera seven years after the first time I saw it (MAN, has it really been that long??), I knew I had to go again.

It was interesting because they chose to set the opera in 1940’s Cuba. The original is set in 19th Century Sevilla, so that was different, but it worked pretty well. The costuming for 1940’s Cuba wasn’t as much fun as the first time I saw it when it was set in the 1800s, but it was a good idea in theory.

Anyway, enough of that. Tragedy has struck my household. My fabulously retro badass console TV is on the fritz. Considering it’s probably like 30 years old, I can’t complain too much, but I’m sad to have to let it go and buy a new TV. It’ll be weird to actually have a remote. I did, however, buy a certain lambswool rug I’ve been eyeing for quite some time:

(Ivory of course)

It is soft and fluffy and fabulous and all I need is a fireplace to get the Danielle Steele romance novel setting going.

In other news, I started school again last week, and managed to have a flat tire on the first day so I was in panic mode because I didn’t have time to get it fixed or get the spare on. But I had a flash of brilliance and used a FlexCar. I heart FlexCar.

So this term I’m taking Statistics, State & Local Public Finance, and Managing Employee Performance. Should be interesting!

Some really fabulous news is that I will be spending my 26th birthday (October 19) at….wait for it….DISNEYLAND!

My sister and I are taking a 3-day weekend and living it up with Mickey and the gang and I’m so excited I could pee my pants. But I won’t, I promise.

OK. I’m going to go be productive…

TTFN, and remember: even if I don’t post, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you.