You didn’t?
Well, there you are. Learn something new every day.
You guessed it—I went to the Oregon State Fair yesterday. And if you’re ever having one of those days where you think, “man, I’m weird,” just go to a state fair and you’ll remember that you’re practically royalty. There was this woman…I can’t make myself go into details…but she should not be wearing a tube top and daisy dukes.
While I’m at it, did you know it costs an average of $3.50 to go on one blasted ride? ONE ride that lasts like 90 seconds? I can get a Frappucino for that amount, thanks. And it lasts longer than 90 seconds.
Also, if you normally eat pretty healthy and don’t consume fried foods, don’t eat anything at the fair. You will suffer the next day. Trust me.
Furthermore, don’t wear white flip flops (I know what you’re thinking—DUH). Not only are my flips flops toast, but my feet were so dirty that it looked like I was still wearing white flips flops after I took them off. Say it with me-- eeeew.
Originally, I was to meet my mom, step-dad, and two younger siblings at the fair for a rompin good time. Then mom calls and it turns out she has to work until 4:00. So she decides that I can just drive my ass on over and take the kids and my step-dad to the fair and she’ll just meet us there when she gets off work. Oh, but don’t have the kids go on rides till she gets there—she doesn’t want to miss that. So that means I had to drive my butt all the way to the coast, then all the way back to the valley. Luckily I had my hot new stereo and SexyBack to entertain me. Which, in turn, entertained all those who passed me on the freeway as I rocked out.
Well we got to the fair at 1:00. She didn’t get there until 6:00. That means five hours of walking around the fair booths keeping two children at bay while they loathe the fact that they can’t go on rides. But at the 42.036th time asking, dad
This, of course, backfires and they only whine louder. Luckily mom arrived shortly thereafter.
Not so luckily, she was ready to go walking around the booths.
On a completely unrelated note, I can’t stop laughing at this story. I know that makes me a bad person.
5 comments:
ROFL! Poor you. I guess Fairs were created by people without children. But I'm glad to see you got out sane :)
That story... unbelievable.
I'm happy to hear the fair phenomenon isn't regional.
I bet between our states we could comprise a veritable "What's that?" of all-stars fair-goers.
Did you know that it takes precisely 42.036 annoying requests from a 9-year-old and an 11-year-old before you finally break down and shout “FINE! You can go on a goddamn ride!”
I did.
The fairs are a wonderful opportunity to walk around and see people who are clearly not quite in the same social class as you.
That's why us "normal" folk go there. It's a nice morale boost.
Good for the horse to teach that guy a lesson.
Rocking down the highway! Still laughing @ that one! Yes, fairs can be ripoffs! Eeeeewwww regarding your flip flops not as big/bad as the Eeeewwww on that story you linked!
You CRACK me up!
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