“How much does a polar bear weigh?”
“Um….I dunno. How much?”
“Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m ___________."
::::::
My friends’ big day is this Saturday. Seems like only yesterday I was plotting a hookup. It’s amazing how fast they grow.
We had the wild bachelorette party this weekend, and a good time was had by all. Also, why is “bachelorette” considered a misspelled word in Microsoft programs but “bachelor” is not? Damn sexists.
Anyway, we hit up the Olive Garden for dinner to get started on the night. Each of us had on our own “pub crawl” shirts with different sayings. Mine was “save the drama for your mama.” The bride had “Buy me a shot—I’m tying the knot!” We were quite the group.
After dinner we headed to Duke’s, which was…well…an experience. I was a little concerned upon arrival because there were guys in Stetsons and Wranglers everywhere. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Junniper was dragged to a country bar. There was even a mechanical bull. No, I did not ride it.
I will admit that we had a blast. We had little “bachelorette dare cards” with challenges on them. I am proud to say I completed my task first: get a guy to show you a hidden tattoo. *wink wink*
My next task was to get a guy to contribute $10 toward the cost of the bachelorette party, but I had no such luck.
We did somehow end up getting together with a bachelor party of about 15 guys. They had rented a van and put magnetic signs on it declaring “CHURCH OF LOWER STANDARDS” and such. It was damn funny. We ended up leaving Duke’s at about 1am and headed over to this other bar called 9Ball. It was a karaoke bar, but since it was close to closing time, we didn’t get a chance to get up and sing.
Just before closing at 2am, two of the guys in the bachelor party decided to get into with some other random guy and they started brawling right in the middle of the bar! Needless to say, I was like “bing! We’re outta here!”
Unfortunately, the Church of Lower Standards van was blocking my exit so I had to yell at the guys to move the damn thing because the brawl had taken itself to the parking lot, and they were full-on fighting. I had zero desire to be there when the police showed up, so I made them move the van and we boogied outta there.
It was an adventure.
Now it’s time to go marry her off!
5 comments:
Ha ha. Sounds like a great night. Bar fights are always fun when you don't know any of the people fighting. It's just free entertainment.
Cowboy bars are a lot more fun than people think. I was skeptical until my first experience, and I'd go back.
Funny enough I was apart of the group outside.
When they started the brawl inside, the "bachelor party" I was in figured it was time to leave. While leaving the group that got kicked out threw their chicken strips in the face of one of our party and it was on. We were ready to leave and couldn't believe they started a fight with us.
No one from our party were hurt, but I seen one guys nose blown out *his blood was all over my friends face and shirt* and another was choked out face on the ground, I think someone kicked him in the face as well... If either are the groom I would love to see what the wedding pictures look like!! LOL!
Oh how weird! I don't know what was up with those guys. It was pretty stupid! Most of us (many of the bachelor party included) didn't even know why it started. But no, the groom wasn't part of the fight, so there should be no tell-tale wedding photos! Haha!
Oh well, strange how alchahol and drama go hand in hand LOL. Hope all went well, grats and good luck with marrying off your friend. I'm doing the same in a week and a half.
The things that happen to you!! :D
That pick-up line is so funny.
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