Thursday, December 21, 2006
Merry Christmas, Darling
All will be merry and bright—
I post this each year (which I would link to if Mr. Hijacker didn’t interfere), but it’s my favorite thing ever written in this silly little world. Here I post my favorite parts of the famous editorial.
September 21, 1897:
Dear Editor: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in the sun it's so.'
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
--Virginia O'Hanlon
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside. But there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest man that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, and romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God he lives, and lives forever.
A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
-- Francis Church
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Fiddlesticks
So that was annoying in itself, but then I go in to have the surgery, and the receptionist is like, “Yeah, sorry—we’re not going to be able to do that today. You’ll have to reschedule for sometime in April.”
Needless to say, I was PO’d and started shouting obscenities. I guess I’m a total potty mouth in my dreams. So I ask the lady why we can’t do it and she’s like, “I don’t know, your doctor just didn’t want to.”
So I go hunting around the hospital and find him in a room making balloon animals for a bunch of kids. So I ask him what the deal is, and A) Why we’re not doing the surgery, and B) Why he didn’t call and tell me yesterday. And he says he just didn’t feel like it, so I go off again and say I’m going to find a new doctor. Then he says I can’t, or I’ll have to pay for it all myself.
OK, it may not sound like much, but it was really annoying. I mean, I’m not exactly looking forward to the surgery, but I’m so sick of snot, sinus headaches, coughing, and swollen eyelids in the morning (goddamn ethmoid sinuses) that I am ready to do ANYTHING to make it all go away.
Hrmph.
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In other news, I’m still really really bored at work. So what does Jennifer do when she’s bored? She plays with Microsoft Paint!
I should do this for a living.
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In other other news, I’m looking forward to Christmas—it’s my favorite time of year. I’ve had my radio tuned to the Christmas station since the day after Thanksgiving. I just love it because it’s a time when I get to spend time with my family (which sounds corny, but it’s true). I don’t get to see my grandpa, aunt & uncle, or cousins very often, so it’s always fun to get together on Christmas Eve to have general merriment! :) Not to mention I love watching my little brother and sister on Christmas morning—so much fun!
I am painfully bored here at work, so here’s a painfully boring survey that I filled out. If you are equally bored, please fill it out for yourself…it will give me something to read!!
1. Hi my name is...Jennifer
45. I'm wearing...My comfy purple sweater
Monday, December 18, 2006
Thank you, thank you...
That has a lovely ring to it, doesn’t it? I would just like to thank the academy for this honor. This will look excellent on my resume.
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It is frosty this morning! Brrrrrrr!! I had to scrape off some major ice on my car this morning. And I have yet to take off my scarf. I tried to, but this horribly frigid ice blast hit my neck and I couldn’t do it.
A couple of my friends had a Christmas party on Saturday, and it was oh-so fun. Good food, good company, just good all around. It was my old coworker and her girlfriend, who just happens to be a chef. So needless to say, the hors d'oeuvres were fabulous. They also set up a primo bar with do-it-yourself mixers and such. It was an excellent idea.
The best part, though, is that every year they pick a charity or an organization and make that the “theme” of the party. Last year they chose the dog shelter where they adopted their pup, and instead of everyone bringing a hostess gift, they bring something for the shelter (like dog food, toys, etc.). This year, they chose p:ear, an organization that helps homeless & transitional youth. One way they do that is through art—so this year, we all brought art supplies for p:ear.
Full of warm fuzzies, no?
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Is it Friday yet? Next week I'm on vacation!!
Friday, December 15, 2006
We're goin to the zoo, zoo, zoo
We soon came upon what appeared to be a wildlife colony, with a lovely blue stream flowing through it.
Upon closer look, we saw monstrous beasts crawling toward us! His jaws were chomping, but alas he could not reach us.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Flakey
I have nothing to do, nothing to do, nothing to do. (Yes, you can probably expect mindless drivel like this all week).
But my coworker did email me this website, and I have been making e-snowflakes all afternoon. I also tried to make an “offensive snowflake” seeing as the website specifically says to keep them clean (What? I said I was bored). But even if you make them offensive as you cut, they don’t really turn out offensive—it’s just another design. But I challenge you to make a naughty one!
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OK, now let me preface this by saying, yes, I know I am being completely ridiculous and yes, I’m happy with my grades, I know they are excellent.
BUT the stupid plus/minus system screwed over my 4.0! Two damn A-’s and one A and I end up with a 3.78. This is annoying to me. An A is an A dammit! And why is there no such thing as an A+? My A would have been an A+ if they existed and then I wouldn’t be quite as annoyed.
Bah. Humbug.
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Also, I feel really bad for these guys, but seriously…what were they thinking?
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My friends and I went to the Zoo Lights last night (in the pouring rain I might add). I’ll try to add some pics of the adventure tonight! Some turned out not half-bad.
PS: I want this shirt.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
There's the sugar!
Happy Dance!
I have to admit, I had a fun time adding “Labels” to my posts (which didn’t take very long thanks to Mr. Hijacker). I had an even more fun time looking at what a write about the most.
At the moment I have 24 different labels—which seems like a lot, but hey, I talk a lot.
You’ll be surprised to know that post-hijacking, I’ve only talked about Shoes 3 times. That’s it! I’ve talked about Recycling Guy 4 times, so he trumps shoes.
I talk about Portland and Oregon a lot (10 total). Then I made a label entitled “Only Me” which refers to bizarre crap that happens to me (rats-in-toilets, parking tickets, etc.). Only Me appears 8 times.
The number one topic post-hijacking? Sinus Fiasco.
This makes me very sad. Sinus Fiasco owns 12 posts. *sigh*
So goal for 2007 (which, ladies and gentlemen, is only 19 days away) is to be able to stop talking about my Sinus Fiasco. Obviously, the month of January will still have some tidbits, but after that, no more sickness please! I had enough in ’06 to last me through the aughts. No more bronchitis/sinus infections/root canals/pink eye/flu/food poisoning/whatever. Done. Finito. Bring on the Vitamins!
In other news, I am finding it very difficult to resist buying all of the DVDs and CDs that just have to come out right before Christmas that I really want but cannot afford. Namely, The Devil Wears Prada, Little Miss Sunshine (Dec.19), Taylor Hicks’ Album, Pirates of the Caribbean, and I know there was something else, but I don’t remember what it was. Evil, evil I tell you! But I would guess that Santa is probably going to bring me some gift cards for Christmas, so I’ll put them to good use. ;)
Monday, December 11, 2006
@#$^& Blogger
Already I dislike it because suddenly Madge, Cristina, and Adam are all "anonymous" commenters on my previous post.
And Tristan's self-made link button is gone again.
And everyone's cute little icons are gone (and YES I made sure the setting was correct).
What up with that??
Is there any new business?
2. Two weeks left until Christmas. Yikes!
3. For my computer geek friends (you know who you are)--I need a suggestion for a FREE, RELIABLE internet browswer. I've had it with Internet Explorer at home. I downloaded the latest version and it's totally retarded. So can you recommend a browser that is easy to download and is SIMPLE to operate? Remember you're dealing with a simple-minded internet gal.
4. Macy's downtown store (formerly Meier and Frank) is closing for a year for renovations, which means all of the employees are being redistrubuted or given severence. My sister, of course, is a manager downtown, so she was vying for a management position at the HUGE Macy's at Southcenter Mall near Seattle. Well, she got it! So now she's moving up there, and starts the day after Christmas. Crazy, huh? So now I'll have to help her move (I hate moving, even if it's not me).
5. The Holiday is such a totally cute girly girly chick flick. Adorable. Ladies, go see it.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Is that mistletoe I see?
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I am officially one term into my master’s program. Last night was my last night of class until January. And I would just like to throw myself a Badass Party because I plowed through it with almost no complaining (other than annoying group members), even though I have been working full time and dealing with my never-ending nasal ailment.
*applause*
“Thank you, thank you.”
I know I’m getting at least one A, and I’m pretty sure (fingers crossed) that I’ll have an A in my financial management class, but it depends on the final group paper & presentation we did last night. My weekend class that I could not stand—I have no idea. The whole grade is based on one paper which I turned in last week, so I have zero idea what kind of grade I’ll get in there. But as long as it’s passing, I don’t care! :)
So next term I am taking Human Resource Management in the Public Sector, Administrative Theory (I heart theory), and Advocacy Roles in Public Management. So it should be a good second term. But not until January, baby!
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I have a dilemma. A job opportunity crossed my path yesterday, and it’s pretty much a job I would kill for. It’s working on the staff of one of the Multnomah County Commissioners(!!!). But the timing is horrible, because the job would start in January, which is a bad month because not only am I having surgery but I’ll be starting my new term. I just don’t know what to do! I mean, the likelihood that I would actually get the job is pretty low, anyway, but it’s such an opportunity! It would almost give me an “in” for campaign management or running for public office. But the timing! Oh, woe is me. Condundrum!
Edit 12/7 3:15pm: I noticed in the job announcement that one of the application requirements is a copy of a press release I have written. Obviously, I have never written a press release (which I have no doubt I could do well). I called the woman in charge of hiring for the position, who was very nice, and said that it is a firm requirement, so I can't be considered without it. So there goes that. But she told me to keep an eye out for additional openings in a couple of months. He's a new commissioner, so he'll probably hire more staff as the year goes. I'll keep you posted. ;) But thanks for your positive remarks!!
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But I leave you with this—a hilarious cartoon from Baby Blues that had me laughing for at least five minutes:
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Well, shoot.
Mother Nature may seem ruthless, but she doesn't know you're there.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Happiness and Cheer
Amy never called.
So this morning I went online to check the time of an appointment I have tomorrow, and lo and behold, there is suddenly a pre-op appointment set for me on the 29th.
Yes, that works for me, yes, I knew I would need a pre-op about a week before the surgery, but how is it that they made an appointment without calling me? And if I hadn’t just happened to look on the website, would I have ever known? I mean come on. And then I called them today, left a message, and have not heard a peep back.
Do I really want these people rooting around my head?
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :
On a much much lighter note, Portland is such a lovely city during Christmastime. I keep meaning to bring my camera along on my excursions to get real-life pictures, but of course I keep forgetting. That will be my mission for the next week.
This is my must-do Christmas list for my city—
Peacock Lane
Where else can you see an entire street of homes you can’t afford lit to the nines with Christmas lights? I used to go as a child with my grandmother, and then my family after she died, so naturally, the tradition lives on. Park at the Walgreens, go buy some snacks (be sure to get cash back to give a “donation” to the guy handing out hot chocolate), and wander down the street. If you can afford to do the horse & carriage ride, go for it, but no driving. That’s cheating.
Portland International Raceway
Yes, it’s overpriced, yes, it’s silly. But they’re just so pretty. And what other time can you drive 10mph on a race track?
Oregon Zoo Lights
Monkeys swinging from tree to tree, hippos squirting out water as you ride on the train. Dozens of school choirs singing carols. It’s the only way to see the zoo.
The Pittock Mansion
Antique toys strewn about a lovely decorated 23-room mansion. Fantastic panoramic views of my city. Need I say more?
The Christmas Ship Parade
Grab some hot chocolate, put on your layers, and welcome me on my bridge as we watch dozens of ships float by, beautifully decorated and lit up for the holidays! What other city would have something so fabulous?
Pioneer Courthouse Square
Stand in the square, marvel at the lovely Christmas Tree (which they have made PC and now call the “Holiday Tree” but whatev). From there, wander down Broadway to see the rest of the lights around town.
Festival of Lights at the Grotto
No, I’m not Catholic, but there’s something so peaceful about the Grotto at Christmastime. It’s something my grandmother loved almost as much as Peacock Lane.
The Nutcracker
Yes, perhaps the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies will get stuck in your head for days, but it’s not-to-be-missed. If for no other reason than to see all the cute little ballerinas dancing about!
The Meier and Frank store windows used to be on my list, but alas…Macy’s has taken over and replaced the 12 Days of Christmas windows. They’re cute and all with the Santas in the windows, but it’s just not the same, you know?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Bad news, girls.
Chivalry is dead.
Or at least suffering from sort of debilitating virus. It’s quite tragic, really.
A few days ago I was downtown after the Macy’s Holiday Parade (nothing like New York’s of course). My little brother and sister were in it, so I had to drag my butt out of bed to go watch it, of course.
So I part ways with my parents and decide to head home, and as I pull out of the parking garage, I feel a funny dragging with my car.
Sonufa…
Flat tire. Flat flat flat. I must have run over something in the garage.
So I pull over to the side, and flip on my emergency flashers. I get out my spare, my jack, and my lugnut wrench to get to work.
Just my luck, I can’t get my jack up. My guess is that it’s just tight from not being used for so long. I mean, I haven’t used it since I got the car almost two years ago. So the punk was too tight for me to loosen.
So I call the fam to see if they’re still downtown so I can enlist the help of my step-dad. They are, but they had just ordered lunch so they’d have to eat it real quick and then come down.
So I waited there on the corner of Broadway and Washington waiting…and waiting. For 30 minutes.
Many a strapping young lad & capable looking men (and women) walked by…and not one damn person said a word to me. I mean come on, is this not a damsel in distress moment? I was sure to look distraught in need of assistance, and still nothing. Nada. Zilch.
I mean, there were four guys having coffee directly across the street from me at Seattle’s Best. Could they not spare a few minutes and help me get my jack loose? (K, that sounded kind of risqué).
But seriously?
Must I do something drastic like this?
Puleeeze.
So guys, if you see a damsel in distress, help her out, will you?
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Sing a song of sixpence
January 5th.
So perhaps I can start the new year breathing freely. Well...at least a month into it or so. And my first class of the new term will be on January 10th, so that will give me five days to recuperate. I'm definitely going to take a week off of work, though. So I won't go back to work until the 12th at the earliest.
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So the biggest shopping day of the year is on Friday, so I thought I should give you a heads up on what I want you to get me for Christmas:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Victoria's Secret "Fantasy Bra." It's completely covered in diamonds, and I think it's only $6.6 million this year. Better get those loan forms filled out!
[Doesn't that thing look totally uncomfortable? And doesn't it...pinch?]
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In other news, my friend picked out her wedding dress on Sunday, and it is very lovely. Needless to say, now she's even more excited than she already was. I need a more intense phrase than "bouncing off the walls" because kids, she's outta control excited.
And our bridesmaids dresses aren't too bad, either:
For my friends in the US of A who celebrate it, have a fantastic Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Visiting the Bitter Barn
And I have noticed a side effect of my current ailment. I have zero sympathy for people who have colds. Absolutely zero. I just want to take their little heads in my hands, shake them a little, and say, "Sick?? You think you're sick?! I'll show you sick, punk!"
My sister is the latest victim of this side effect. I had a very difficult time not rolling my eyes as she sniffled and looked pathetic and complained that she felt stuffed up.
Stuffed. Up.
I wanted to kill her.
Yes, I realize this is extremely insensitive, but I'm just about to the brink of can't-take-it-anymore status. I'm starting to consider snorting Diet 7up like my dad suggested. Sure, he was joking, but what the hell? Nothing else has worked.
So on that happy little rant (I'll work on my attitude problem, I promise), I would just like to say, I am really excited for some turkey. So excited, in fact, that I felt it necessary to draw you a picture of said turkey, pre-head chopping off:
I just hope my sister is feeling better by Thursday. Because if she talks about her cold during our commute to visit the fam, I might just have to stuff her little snot box in the trunk.
And because I'm not totally selfish, I just need to say that this is really awful.
Oh, and also? HAHAhahahaahaHAHAHAhahaha!!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Purple
I stole this from my new Twilight Zone friend, Madge, who incidentally, has just opened a new blog.
Things I have done in my life (so far): Highlighted Purple
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain (actually it was a volcano)
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said I love you and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity (which I shamefully later regretted)
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero (what do you mean pretend?)
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites (Roman and Incan!)
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback (???)
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (Does a BB Gun count?)
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (not on purpose)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish when I went camping!)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office (not yet)
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Somebody turn on the sun.
I did, however, find some time to play around with a warping website that lets you play with celebrities.
Angelina "I use children as accessories" Jolie
Britney "K-Fed Wants How Much $??" Spears
Paris "That's Hot" Hilton
George "Heckuva Job" Bush
In other news, I just can’t quite wrap my mind around this. And that’s all I really have to say about that.
In other other news, I got an email from myself the other day. I forgot that I participated in the email time capsule Forbes did last year. And I guess I’m part of the 33% who chose to have it sent in a year.
Apparently I was having a total dork moment because this is all I wrote to myself:
Aha! Self—I’ll bet you forgot you did this, didn’t you? (yes, yes I did) What a strange thing to get a message from yourself in the past. (dork!)
Hopefully you are enrolled at PSU in the Master’s program for Public Admin. Are you? (Yes, I am!) Or are did they decide to be retarded and not let you in? Hopefully you’re not too bogged down with work and nonsense. (Not too bad, no)
Did Megan and Jared finally get married? Or did she wise up? (No, she did not wise up)
I hope things are great this year—if not, go make them be! (I’m too full of mucous, I’ll try again later)
Love,
Yourself.
Like I said: total dork moment. But it was still fun to see it in my Inbox.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Sunofa...
Well, turns out, my doctor is totally booked. They only do the schedule 6 weeks out, and he's booked through December. Which, if you remember, is exactly when I was hoping to get it done. So I'm a little frustrated by that, but what can I do?
The appointment lady said they're trying to see if they can put more times in for him, but there's no guarantee. So I had her write on my record for the first week of January if possible, and December if they can squeeze me in. But I probably won't know until next week. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that this is very annoying.
I was sweet as sugar to her (after all, it's not her fault), so maybe she'll be more inclined to help me out. :)
I guess we'll see.
Until then, the snot continues.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Oh, snap.
The Registrar's Office has deleted your records from our information system at your request.
Thank you for your inquiry.
Sincerely,
Timothy J. Ebner, Registrar
University of Utah