It's a small world after all...

I just read this story and laughed out loud.

That's the bachelor from Saturday night's party!!

Boogie down

Funniest pick-up line I’ve heard in a while:

“How much does a polar bear weigh?”
“Um….I dunno. How much?”
“Enough to break the ice. Hi, I’m ­­­­­­­___________."

::::::

My friends’ big day is this Saturday. Seems like only yesterday I was plotting a hookup. It’s amazing how fast they grow.

We had the wild bachelorette party this weekend, and a good time was had by all. Also, why is “bachelorette” considered a misspelled word in Microsoft programs but “bachelor” is not? Damn sexists.

Anyway, we hit up the Olive Garden for dinner to get started on the night. Each of us had on our own “pub crawl” shirts with different sayings. Mine was “save the drama for your mama.” The bride had “Buy me a shot—I’m tying the knot!” We were quite the group.

After dinner we headed to Duke’s, which was…well…an experience. I was a little concerned upon arrival because there were guys in Stetsons and Wranglers everywhere. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Junniper was dragged to a country bar. There was even a mechanical bull. No, I did not ride it.

I will admit that we had a blast. We had little “bachelorette dare cards” with challenges on them. I am proud to say I completed my task first: get a guy to show you a hidden tattoo. *wink wink*

My next task was to get a guy to contribute $10 toward the cost of the bachelorette party, but I had no such luck.

We did somehow end up getting together with a bachelor party of about 15 guys. They had rented a van and put magnetic signs on it declaring “CHURCH OF LOWER STANDARDS” and such. It was damn funny. We ended up leaving Duke’s at about 1am and headed over to this other bar called 9Ball. It was a karaoke bar, but since it was close to closing time, we didn’t get a chance to get up and sing.

Just before closing at 2am, two of the guys in the bachelor party decided to get into with some other random guy and they started brawling right in the middle of the bar! Needless to say, I was like “bing! We’re outta here!”

Unfortunately, the Church of Lower Standards van was blocking my exit so I had to yell at the guys to move the damn thing because the brawl had taken itself to the parking lot, and they were full-on fighting. I had zero desire to be there when the police showed up, so I made them move the van and we boogied outta there.

It was an adventure.

Now it’s time to go marry her off!

Ganache is the devil's bait.

Wedding season has officially begun.



Wedding #1 of 5 was on Saturday, and it was nice. It was my first Catholic wedding, but there wasn’t a mass, so it was only about an hour—which is long as weddings go, really. Most I’ve been to or been in are like 15 minutes, tops. But the bride looked beautiful, and the church was quite lovely. It was a little tiny church in a random neighborhood in Wilsonville (south of Portland). I never would have known it was there, that’s for sure. Their reception was held at the Museum of the Oregon Territory, which sounds weird, but it was a great space. It had a ballroom at the top of the museum, with windows around the whole area. All in all, a good start to the season.





Wedding #2 of 5 is this weekend, but I’m forgoing this one. It’s about 3 hours away, and I have a lot of things to do this weekend. This one is more of an acquaintance, anyway, so I don’t feel guilty for skipping it. I haven’t seen the bride in the better part of a decade. I’ll send a gift and call it good!

Let’s discuss for a moment the idea of bringing a date to a wedding. I never really understood that. I mean, weddings are fun and all, but would you want to go to one if you didn’t know the couple getting married? Let me ask you—would you want to be a date to a wedding? The other strange thing is when you’re in the wedding and you bring a date. It’s not like you can sit with your date because you’re at the wedding party’s table. OK, that was kind of random, but you get the point.

In other news, I went to a fantastic restaurant on Friday. The restaurant is Lauro which is on Division. It’s a self-described “Mediterranean restaurant.” It was so damn good. Had a glass of Tempranillo, which was excellent. Then we shared a plate of tapas, which were also heavenly—great calamari! For my main course, I chose the Paella, which can never live up to the Paella I had in Spain, but it was still pretty damn good. All in all, the restaurant gets an A+.





Even though we were stuffed to the gills, we decided to hit the Pied Cow for some dessert. Ordered a lovely banana crepe a la flambé, which was pretty. They lit rum on fire on the plate. Pretty cool. A crepe accompanied by a café au lait, and I’m in heaven. They also have a selection of hookahs, so if you’re into that, this is the place to be.



So how was your weekend?

And I'm telling you...

Where did the weekend go?

It was so fantastically beautiful (albeit cold) this weekend—and the sunshine is still upon us today! Not only that—it’s supposed to stick around for several days!

My favorite kind of day: sunny & cold.

::::::

OK, so I saw Dreamgirls this weekend. Originally, my friends and I were going to go see Stranger Than Fiction, but we changed our minds at the last minute.

Several things about Dreamgirls: 1. Beyonce didn’t bug me as much as she usually does on an everyday basis. 2. Eddie Murphy can actually (gasp!) act. 3. Jamie Foxx is so damn cute and I just hate that he’s a punk in the movie. And 4. Jennifer Hudson was absolutely-freaking-phenomenal. Phenomenal, people. All that hype? It’s completely warranted. She’s fantastic.

Of the two friends I went with, one gave it a B- grade and the other one said it was the worst movie she had ever seen. But we all agreed that Hudson was incredible.

::::::

I ordered my bridesmaid dress for my friend’s wedding this July. The dress isn’t too bad, and trying it on was great because unlike last July’s disaster wedding, the dress is well made and actually lined! I had to plunk down 90 bucks, but my friend is worth it.

And instead of wearing awful white flip flops, we get to choose silver shoes of our liking. That way my friend who prefers stilettos can be happy and tall, and I can get a sensible 3-incher and we’ll both be happy! So I’m on the hunt for silver strappy sandals, I think.

Oh darn, I have to buy another pair of shoes.

::::::

I also must add that this day is now totally mishmashed because I just realized I forgot to put earrings on this morning, so now I feel naked and incomplete. Time to go back to bed.

::::::

Tristan posted this website on his blog—

Find meaning behind your birthday!

So mine, October 19, 1981 gives the following info:

You were born on a Monday

under the astrological sign Libra.

Your Life path number is 3.

Life Path Compatibility:

You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.

You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 2, 5 & 11.

You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 7, 8 & 22.

As of 1/29/2007 4:47:26 PM EST

You are 25 years old.

You are 303 months old.

You are 1,319 weeks old.

You are 9,233 days old.

You are 221,608 hours old.

You are 13,296,527 minutes old.

You are 797,791,646 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Chris Kattan (1970)
Ty Pennington (1965)
Evander Holyfield (1962)
John Lithgow (1945)

There are 263 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 26 candles.

The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.

There was also this site that tells you about your name!

Mine: Jennifer

What your first name means:
Welsh: Female Fair one. Variant of Guinevere. In Arthurian Mythology Guinevere was Arthur's queen.
English: Female Fair one. Variant of Guinevere. In Arthurian Mythology Guinevere was Arthur's queen.
Cornish: Female Fair and yielding. Variant of Guinevere.
Celtic: Female White wave.

Arthurian Legend: Female Variant of Guinevere: Fair one. Guinevere was King Arthur's mythological queen.

Your number is: 9 [Which is totally weird because my favorite number is nine!!]

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:The expression that you exhibit is represented by the number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.
If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.
Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Now I know that these things are written to be very general to fit anyone, but that’s pretty damn close! :)

What can I say...I'm easily amused.

It's all downhill from here---

Alright, tomorrow's the day. I will try to update this weekend with all the gory details!

But tomorrow, think of me, having this shoved up my nose:






But to end on a happy note, let's pop the champagne and congratulate Cristina on her engagement!

Sing a song of sixpence

Alright, people. We finally have a date.

January 5th.

So perhaps I can start the new year breathing freely. Well...at least a month into it or so. And my first class of the new term will be on January 10th, so that will give me five days to recuperate. I'm definitely going to take a week off of work, though. So I won't go back to work until the 12th at the earliest.



**************************************************************

So the biggest shopping day of the year is on Friday, so I thought I should give you a heads up on what I want you to get me for Christmas:



Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Victoria's Secret "Fantasy Bra." It's completely covered in diamonds, and I think it's only $6.6 million this year. Better get those loan forms filled out!

[Doesn't that thing look totally uncomfortable? And doesn't it...pinch?]

***************************************************************

In other news, my friend picked out her wedding dress on Sunday, and it is very lovely. Needless to say, now she's even more excited than she already was. I need a more intense phrase than "bouncing off the walls" because kids, she's outta control excited.



And our bridesmaids dresses aren't too bad, either:





For my friends in the US of A who celebrate it, have a fantastic Thanksgiving!

Mawaige

Mawaige is what bwings us togevah today. Dat dweam, wifin a dweam...



[ If you don't know what movie that's from, we're not friends anymore ;) ]

Let’s talk about marriage.

One of these years – in a galaxy far, far away – I’ll probably get married. But it is definitely not in my immediate future plans. I’m just not “there” yet mentally. Furthermore, I have no idea what I want in a man. If you look at my string of crushes or boyfriends in my life you will notice a trend: they are all very different from each other, and they never end up being who I think they are.

I have this horrible habit of finding interest in someone and then building them up in my mind to be someone they’re not.

This is why I am not ready for that sort of thing.

But a lot of people are. Namely my crazy best friend who got hitched this last weekend. She was all about getting married. She wanted to be married so badly that she didn’t care to whom. I don’t see this lasting. I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am.

So here’s my Question Number One: If someone you know is getting married and you think it’s a horrible idea (maybe the guy/girl is mean, maybe they’re too young, whatever) do you say something or do you keep quiet and just let it unfold on its own?

Then there’s my friends who I introduced who got engaged on Monday (they’ll get married next July). They’ve only known each other a few months. Many people think that’s waaaay too fast. Now here’s my issue, and I feel like I totally have a double-standard here. If it were anyone else, I would think they’ve lost their minds. But because it’s them, I just know this was meant to be. He even asked her parents – her mom cried and her dad said he would be “honored to have him as a son-in-law.”

So Question Number Two: How soon is too soon and does it apply to everyone? Is a relationship doomed if they take things “quickly?”

Here’s another debate: women changing their last names. I have no problem with women changing their last names when they get married. I, however, have yet to decide if I want to. I like my last name. It’s unique and I’ve never met another person with it. I would just feel gypped if I married someone with the last name “Jones” or “Smith” or something (sorry to any Smith/Jones that may be reading this). Whenever I have children, they’ll have their father’s last name. But I still haven’t decided.

So Question Three: Do you think it’s necessary for a woman to change her last name when she gets married? Why or why not?

Also, you know that saying "Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride"? Well, this will be my fourth time. I personally think the saying should be "Three times a bridesmaid, DAMN you must be a good friend!"

OK, we’ll start there.

On a side note, anyone else think it’s a little weird that I got carded for buying Sparklers


but not for buying a bottle of wine?

Alright, this is a long one...

Man I’m tired.

I swear I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since Tuesday.

So.

Bridezilla may have driven me completely crazy this last year with wedding madness, but I am happy to report that the end result was a blast.

And then the clouds opened up and the angels started to sing.

That was seriously the funnest wedding I have ever been to. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings.

I’ll start with Thursday, though. I left work a little early so I could get to the coast and get some last-minute stuff done before the big event. I helped my dad pick out a wedding gift for the couple, and just as we were getting ready to check out, he picked up a box of Mentos and was like, “Have you seen that thing on the Internet…” and I said, “with the Diet Coke? Yeah, I want to try that!” Then he looked at the Mentos, looked at me. I went and grabbed a 2-Liter of Diet Coke. And although it didn’t look as spectacular as those guys with the 100 bottles, our experiment was a success! It shot up quite high in the air!



Anyway, Friday I met up with Bride and her 3 bridesmaids from Montana and we went to lunch on the Bayfront and then pointed them in the direction of some good tourist-y stuff. Then Bride and I went to the resort for some last-minute decoration instructions and other details. Rehearsal was at four, and then we all headed to the rehearsal dinner at this fun lounge. After dinner the gals went back to the resort to supervise the installation of the altar. Their wedding was outside in this glen but they wanted a fun wooden altar to stand in front of, so my step-dad made them one. It turned out really well. Then we went back to our suite and drank some wine and chatted the night away.

Saturday morning we headed to the spa for hour-long full-body massages. And I tell you what, I could get used to that! I had never had a professional massage, and it was HEAVEN. I can’t justify getting them often since they cost $100/hour, but I think a once in a while massage might need to be in the plans for me from now on. After our massages we soaked in the spas and steam rooms and saunas and sunrooms all morning. It was fabulous getting pampered!

Then we headed back to the room to get ready. One of Bride’s fellow hairdressers who wasn’t a bridesmaid did all of our hair. The whole suite smelled like hairspray, lemme tell ya. She started with the bride, which took two hours, but it looked fantastic. Ours were a little quicker. But I must say it was a painful experience because she wanted kind of a bouffant half updo, so the tops of our heads were teased, which is essentially creating knots in your hair and then shellacked with hairspray.

I swear I used almost an entire bottle of conditioner just to be able to run my fingers through my hair the next morning. It was worst for me, too, because I have long hair. Ouch.

ANYWAY, the ceremony was short, sweet, and beautiful. And Bridezilla did not make an appearance, thank goodness. She was happy and pleasant all day. The reception was fantastic and the DJ perfect. We literally danced from about 8-midnight, so my legs are nice and sore now.

As for the dress, it stayed together and nothing busted out. The pearls? I got used to them. My hairstyle, even though it had a bottle of hairspray on it, fell out after two songs.

The parasols, you ask? In a funny twist of fate, I actually only carried the damn thing for a total of 20 seconds. I walked up the aisle with it open, and then closed it when I got to the altar. Then I was able to ditch the thing for the rest of the night. I mean, we took pictures with them, but other than that, I didn’t have to deal with it!

But I did get to keep it. ;)

We didn’t get to sleep until about 2am that night, but my co-maid of honor was off galavanting with some boys and decided that she’d just come back in the morning. Lucky me, she came knocking on the door at 4am. This must be why I’m tired!

But it really was a blast. It couldn’t have gone more smoothly, and our toast was a big hit. I was sad to have to say goodbye since she and her husband are moving across the country, but I’ll try to visit them soon. Hopefully she’ll be better now that the wedding is over!








Oh, and by the way. Those two friends I hooked up a few months ago? Yeah…he’s proposing tonight.

Here comes ze bride...

I have a horrible “tan” line on my forearm. Methinks I’m going to have to fix that tonight. I say “tan” because it’s not a real tan. It came from a can. Usually I don’t care if I have fair skin, but since I’m wearing a lime green dress this weekend, I figured it might look a teensy bit better if I had a lovely golden glow.

And for the most part, it actually does look fairly lovely. Except this funky monkey streak on my arm. But that is why I did it on Wednesday night so I could fix it by Saturday. See? I’m smart sometimes.

Bridezilla tried to get me to just go tanning in those evil tanning beds, but I refuse.



I have zero intention of dying of skin cancer, thankyouverymuch. My two best friends, however, may not live to be 50. They are tanning bed queens. I was even giving them a lecture the other day and Bridezilla said, “I don’t want to be pasty white for my wedding!” and I retorted “Do you want to die when you’re 35???” And she responded “At least I’ll die married!”

Good lord this chica needs a reality check.



Last night I had some good times with some old friends from college that I haven’t seen in a couple of years. They’re pretty much the same—pot-smoking alcoholics—but you know, sometimes those people can be fun. The guy I used to like was there (not one of the pot-smoking alcoholics) and trying (unsuccessfully) to flirt with me, and I was like HA! You missed this boat, bubba!! [Did I just call myself a boat?]

They are having a block party on the fourth, though, so methinks I’ll just have to deal with being hungover at work on the 5th. Personally, I think it’s a travesty that I have to work on the 5th. Fireworks don’t even start until 10. My bedtime is 10! But we’re going to go anyway I think. I mean, it’s a block party. They even got permits to close down the street and block it off.

Anyway, I should probably get some, I dunno, work done. So it will be a few days before I post again since I’m leaving for the coast tonight to head down for the festivus.

I promise I’ll try not to laugh during the ceremony.

It's alive!!!

Let’s get the update rolling, shall we?

I pledge to make a solid attempt at re-entering the blog world.

I think the fiasco of my blog getting “hijacked” was a stern lecture from the Blog Gods that “thou shalt not go on hiatus.”

Although I’m surprised to see that the cell-phone licking girl that originally appeared at the original Caprichosa when it was hijacked is no longer there. Now it’s a “blog” with either Chinese or Japanese characters on it. And whoever that person is has a shit load of blogs. I mean, come on. They didn't even do anything cool with my blog.

Methinks I will not be getting Caprichosa back.

Sigh.


So. I have put my Amigos back up. I couldn’t remember what I had named them before, so I came up with some new ones. If you don’t like your link name, let me know and I will change it to whatever your darling heart desires. Really.


The wedding (to which I can unfortunately no longer link) is on Saturday. And although I don’t completely approve of this marriage, I am, in some sort of sadistic way, starting to get excited about it. I’m not really sure why. Which reminds me I need to call my date and make sure he’s still going. I should probably write that on my hand.

The dress fits. In a rather ironic twist, the bust was actually a little too big and had to be taken in. If you don’t remember why this is ironic, I’m sorry. I’m not going to go there again.

While the dress isn’t very well-made, it looks like it will stay in one piece for at least one evening. And if I jump up and down to the song “Shout” nothing should come flying out.



As for my dentist woes, they’re still going. Let’s please remember that this all started on December 30th. Yes, DECEMBER. As in SIX MONTHS ago. I finally had to go see a specialist because my dumbass dentist poked a hole through my canal into my gums. That’s why they couldn’t get it to stop bleeding. Go figure.

But the specialist was able to repair the hole and fill in the canals (after NINE visits). Then I went back to my dentist yesterday for the permanent filling and to fit me for a crown. I have a temporary crown on now. For those of you who have never had a crown, it is a hellacious procedure! Good lord! I thought it would be all downhill from here, but they torture the shit out of your gums. First they drill all around it so then it starts gushing blood and then they need it to stop bleeding so they put this horrible stinging astringent gel stuff on there. Then they take 407 molds so they can create the temporary crown and then 98 more for the permanent one, which doesn’t feel too good after your gums have been tortured. (OK, it was only 6 molds, but that’s still a lot!)



Then they put this cement stuff inside the permanent cap and then shove it down on your tooth so it fits right. This, of course, means that the extra cement stuff starts squirting out and then they have to drill that off.

It was unpleasant.

I don’t even want to think about how they get the temporary one back off. *shudders*