whisky tango foxtrot

Today is supposedly the first day of Spring. At the moment I see a smidgeon of blue sky, but it’s not promising, I can’t lie.

I NEED SOME SUNSHINE. Get me that beautiful Vitamin D. Oregonians, because of the lack of sunshine, only get something like 20% of their daily need of D. LAME.

I’m thrilled it’s finally Friday. Thing have been weird lately, and I can’t completely put my finger on why. Work is an adventure politically, I have friends with some issues going on in their lives, and I can’t decide what my next “goal” is. I mean, I’m done with school, I like my job, things are going well. I’d like to be able to take advantage of this great first-time homebuyer market that’s going on, but I need to pay down some student loans first. Sigh.

Maybe I’ll buy a lottery ticket.

I AM, however, going to Washington DC in May and I am P-U-M-P-E-D PUMPED. Yes, like cheerleader level pumped.

On a completely random off-note, I was googling something today, and typed in “where is” and got distracted for a sec. When I looked back to the screen, I noticed the drop-down of popular searches that start with “where is” and started cracking up to see:

I mean, I can’t decide which is funnier, “where is Chuck Norris” or “where is the G spot.”
So naturally I started doing other ones, including “who is”:

This one is a bit weirder, because whoever this “big poppa” is, he’s quite a popular fellow. I mean he’s got 4 searches. I’m also a bit concerned that people have to google “who is my congressman.”

Yikes.
Have a good weekend, all!

HORRIFIED

OK, so I'm going to delve into a little pop culture here, though I'm sure everyone has heard about the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown. He "allegedly" beat her up one evening before the grammys.

I haven't followed it that closely, but since it was all over the news, I was aware of it. Well, I was listening to the radio the other day, and the dj dude said the two of them were back together and "working it out."

At this point, I'm pretty sure we are now all aware that Rihanna is a complete and total MORON. But then I just read this story on CNN and I am now totally beyond horrified.

Just a small sample:

"Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.'s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.
"Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, 'I'm going to beat the s--t out of you when we get home! You wait and see!' "

I'm just so saddened that there are women out there who for one reason or another, just cannot or will not escape their abusers. And apparently her family is making public comment that they're "going to stand by her decisions and support her." That's all fine and dandy, but supporting your daughter does not mean throwing your hands in the air and saying "hey, if you want to stay with that abusing asshole, go for it."

No no no.

I really hope she wakes up and leaves his ass before something worse happens.

OK, done now.

Would Suck

So the great shut down of Analog TV signals for the switch to digital has been postponed to June. The argument at hand is that not everyone is ready for the digital switch. Others argue that no one really uses "rabbit ears" anymore, anyway, so why hold off?

Well, I have mixed feelings about it. I don't have cable--for many reasons, one of which is that I'm cheap, and the other is that I really don't see the need to have so many damn channels. I get about 12 over the airways, and that's plenty. I go over to friends' houses and they have like 100 channels, about 60 of which are crap. So what's the point?

A little over a year ago, my bad-ass console TV died. I had to give in and buy a new TV, so I figured I'd go digital, so I bought this even more bad-ass 32" LCD HDTV, and started getting the digital channels along with analog. The picture for the digital channels is definitely more crystal clear, but I lose the signal much more often than I did with regular 'ol analog. I live next to a bridge, and whenever a big truck goes over it, the signal goes out (no, I'm not kidding).

So the claims that the pictures are clearer with digital is true, but the signal sucks. I think it's just the man trying to get us down and give in and buy cable. I will not give in! I will not go quietly into the night!

Damn the man, save the empire!

On a side note, I am really loving this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bap-oZI-Grc

(I'd embed it, but it's disabled.)

A few things not worth mentioning...

Thing the First: My oven caught on fire last night. It was kind of a dramatic moment as I had just turned the oven on, and suddenly it made this horrible buzzing sound and then a loud POP, which produced some good size flames. I was able to turn it immediately off, which stopped the flames, but then produced some impressive billows of smoke. So then of course I opened every window in my apartment to air it out, which promptly made my apartment FREEZING (but not smelling like smoke). So now I have no oven, and while it's perhaps safe to use the stove burners, I'm disinclined to do so. Now I'm waiting for my apartment manager to see if it's reparable. But for now I have to eat things cold or things that are microwavable. Bummer, dude.

Thing the Second: I have been having some trippy-ass dreams lately. First, I had a dream that I was a reporter covering the Blagojevich impeachment, and Mr. Pipo was called as a character witness, which horrified me. He came over to talk to me, bringing Mr. Blagojevich, who promptly decided to hit on me, so I ran away. As I was running, it turned in to me doing a marathon, and my iPod wouldn't work. I also have dreams fairly frequently where my teeth are falling out. Then last night I had a dream where I was invisible to everyone but children. Googling the themes of my dreams would lead one to believe I must have serious issues I'm unaware of, including worrying too much about how I look, thinking I'm not important, trying to remove myself from society, and putting my faith in man over God. Whatever that means. Really I think it just provides me entertainment the next morning when I remember them. Except the teeth falling out one. YUCK!

Thing the Third: Why does our mayor have to be scandalous? I mean, I'm feeling good politically, my President was elected, he's officially in office and Bush is puttin' his boots up on a coffee table in Podunk, Texas, and he can't send us to war again. But then the day before Inauguration, Portland's mayor has to go scandalize himself with an inappropriate relationship. I mean come ON. So I have decided to pay as little attention as possible to the whole shebang, even if I am technically a city employee. Whatev! Evidently in Portland, 18-year-olds can enjoy Sam Adams. Ba-dum kshhhh!

2009 is upon us

So I've been reading this gal's blog for a few years now, and her latest entry included one of those annoying-yet-hard-to-resist-online-survey things. Since I am home with an overly irritating cold, I figured why not? You also looking for something to do? Join in the madness!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Graduated with a Master's Degree

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Not really a resolutions kind of girl...I'll make one right now for 2009, though: get prints of my zillions of digital photos I've taken and get them into photo albums/scrapbooks.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but two of my best friends (I actually introduced them!) will be having their first child in May!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? Does Indiana count? I kind of feel like it should.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Hmm...maybe a date with a man that is not more boring than a grain of sand.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 16 - day of my graduation

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Surviving and finishing grad school

9. What was your biggest failure? Not being able to get my damn tub drain fixed so it actually drains water properly. Though I guess I have a couple of days left to turn this one around!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Well I have a horrible cold right now, does that count?

11. What was the best thing you bought? Probably my TV, which seems silly, but I had this bad-ass console TV from the 70's that finally died. I was sad about it until I brought my 32" LCD HDTV home and realized what a real TV screen is all about.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The 44th President of the United States had some darn good behavior.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Well, the 43rd is always on my shit-list, but I'm adding John McCain to that list. I don't know who that dude running on the Republican ticket was, but it was not John McCain.

14. Where did most of your money go? I would like to know that, too. Groceries, probably. I shop with a basket, not a cart, and I swear groceries are at least 40 bucks every time! How can 40 bucks worth of stuff fit into one basket?!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A presidential election that finally went my way.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Probably the "Umbrella" song by Rihanna. Man that gets stuck in the head, doesn't it?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? 'Bout the same
c) richer or poorer? I guess richer since I got a raise but still feel poor.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Traveling

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Can't think of anything.

20. How did you spend Christmas? It was kind of crazy because of the snow and my dad had to drive up to Portland to get us. So it was kind of a hectic Christmas season, but always fun and full of family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Nope. Maybe next year.

22. What was your favorite TV program? House, MD

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Nope

24. What was the best book you read? I will somewhat shamefully admit I read the Twilight series books (you know, teenage vampires?) and I really liked them. It's not anything particularly profound or educational, but I really liked the story.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't know. I really like how iTunes has a free weekly download or two, and Starbucks also hands out free downloads. I discover lots of music that way that I might not have listened to before.

26. What did you want and get? A new TV

27. What did you want and not get? A new couch

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmm. I don't know. I don't think I went to many movies. A friend lent me Fight Club, which I had never seen before and it blew my mind, so we'll say that.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 27 this year, and the night before my birthday my friends and I indulged at Urban Fondue and went to a comedy club, and then on my actual birthday day, some friends and I did a 5K "Run Like Hell" walk.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? More peace, less war.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I do my own thang

32. What kept you sane? My friends and family...sometimes.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Barack Obama

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Gay civil rights. The whole issue makes my ass twitch and I'll never understand why people are so freaked out by gay people.

35. Who did you miss? Bridezilla--my best friend living in the midwest married to a jackass.

36. Who was the best new person you met? I really like this coworker of mine. He's funny, he's politically savvy, clever, and well...he's good lookin'.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. Don't let your apartment manager try to unclog drains.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Whip it. Whip it good.

Merry Christmas

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O'HANLON.


VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Inspired By A/B

So over on A/B's blog, he likes to do a rundown of favorite/hot/smokin'/sexy girls. See his latest post here.

This has inspired me to do a little male objectifying of my own.

So I present to you Junniper's list of Top 10 Men

10. Ty Pennington

Ty and I actually broke up because he got a DUI last year, but he's still pretty to look at. Find him on ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Heartwarming with just the right amount of cheese.

9. Johnny Depp

Mmm, Johnny Depp. He's weird and quite bohemian, but also? Yum. See him in Pirates of the Caribbean, or my personal favorite, Edward Scissorhands.

8. Gabriel Macht

You're probably thinking "who?" And you know, he's not that great of an actor. But he's got the boyish-good-looks thing down pat. He was in American Outlaws and Because I Said So (both C movies).

7. David Beckham

Ah, David Beckham. You're married to a fembot, but I love you anyway. You all should be glad I refrained from posting his Calvin Klein ads if you know what I'm sayin'.

6. Relay Boys

Was that an awesome moment or what? Yeah, some of them are kinda funny looking, but also? RIPPED.

5. Shia LaBeouf

This guy's also sort of funny looking, but it works for him. I think he's cute, even if he has some questionable decision-making issues. And look at that, I threw in Megan Fox for you menfolk.

4. Gael Garcia Bernal

Oh, Gael. I think you should be my boyfriend so you can help me practice my espanol. You're so cute in Motorcycle Diaries, and who could forget that hilarious pool scene in Y Tu Mama Tambien? I'll be your Selmita.

3. Omar Epps

Omar, how do I love thee? Great in Love and Basketball, even better in House. I was so worried at the end of Season 3 that I would be able to stare at him on Tuesday nights anymore, so I'm glad he's still a House regular.

2. Hugh Laurie

Speaking of House, Hugh Laurie just barely edges out Omar Epps. But they're mighty close. Hugh Laurie is great for multiple reasons, only one of which is his brilliance on House. Anybody watch it last night? His "curvy and muscular...my penis is so confused" comment had me crying from laughter. Also loved his bit part in Sense and Sensibility.

1. Barack Obama

Mr. President, you are THE MAN.